Four Parts Ranma
by Mike Fenton
Summary: A summary is included in the foreword.
1. Horsing Around

Four Parts Ranma  
by Mike Fenton  
  
  
[Foreword]  
  
These characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This is a  
free fanfic, not intended for profit of any kind. You may  
leave a review if you wish, however, if you prefer to get  
feedback, you should visit the www-orangeangel-com forum.  
  
The following narrative deals mostly with Ranma and Akane,  
and it is written in a more traditional style than any of  
my other works. In the following story, Ranma drinks from  
the water that gave him the curse, and it has a strange  
effect on him--he goes through a course of subtle  
personality changes that become more profound as the story  
continues. Ranma starts to realize that these changes are  
triggered by events that cause people close to him to leave  
him. Not only does his personality change, but his gender  
changes--and in a way that getting splashed with water  
cannot change...  
  
***  
  
  
Part 1: Horsing Around  
  
  
It was a very old saying among the Amazons that to drink  
from the Jusenkyo springs one had drowned in would leave you  
with half a mind; and although no one doubted it, no one  
could quite say what it meant, either.  
  
No one could remember testing it, since even setting foot  
near the forbidden springs was considered bad luck, and to  
force someone who had been unlucky enough to drown there to  
drink from that same spring would be considered even worse.  
  
The springs themselves were very ancient and filled with  
mystery, so finding the same springs would be difficult.  
Even if you could find a guide to those springs, there was  
no guarantee he would show you the exact same springs.  
  
So, of course, there was no telling what awful thing might  
happen--and therefore, there was no excuse at all for  
Shampoo not to have noticed that she had accidentally given  
Ranma a full glass of the water of nyanniichuan (or, "spring  
of drowned girl") into which Ranma had drowned some time  
ago.  
  
"Aiyaa!" Shampoo said to herself, finally noticing what she  
had done. The full glass of ordinary water remained on her  
serving tray, as Ranma set the now empty glass on the  
counter and began toward the exit of the Cat Cafe--having  
noticed Akane entering.  
  
Shampoo, unable to contemplate the mistake she had made,  
took the ordinary water and poured it onto her own head--in  
the vain hope that perhaps she had not actually made a  
mistake, and could now demonstrate to her beloved Ranma that  
she would not transform into the cat that she now  
mysteriously transformed into.  
  
There was nothing new about Shampoo changing into a cat like  
this, but for Shampoo to be the most annoyed at becoming a  
cat was something slightly new. The patrons of the shop  
were mostly absorbed in their own conversations, ignoring  
this relatively mild turn of events.  
  
Ranma was absorbed in greeting Akane--who was acting  
strangely irritated at Ranma. Akane made an angry gesture,  
and Ranma flinched, then started to placate Akane--massaging  
her back. All this behavior seemed very strange to Shampoo,  
and she leaped after Ranma before fully realizing that she  
was still a cat.  
  
Normally, whenever confronted by a cat, Ranma would run  
away--screaming in terror. Now, however, Ranma seemed  
strangely torn within himself.  
  
"Ranma!" Akane warned, but before Akane could stop him,  
Ranma picked up Shampoo the cat and began to pet her.  
  
"Nice kitty," he said, taking a moment to scratch her under  
the chin.  
  
Shampoo was at once struck by the oddness of this situation  
and the pleasure of having her chin fur scratched this way.  
She purred in her usual way and took a moment of unusual  
contemplation.  
  
"Ranma," she thought, "must have half mind, for sure."  
  
Akane, who was unaware of the Amazon saying, said to Ranma,  
"You realize that's a cat, right?"  
  
"Huh?" he said, looking from Shampoo to Akane and back to  
Shampoo. A moment later, he screamed in terror and bolted  
from the shop in his normal way, tossing Shampoo high up  
into the air. Shampoo landed in the way that all cats do--  
exactly on all fours--straight on top of the counter.  
  
Akane gave Shampoo a suspicious glance, then brushed it  
aside--obviously thinking that Ranma had been seized by a  
moment of normalcy, and that such things must eventually  
happen in lieu of the usual terrors--which would fade in  
time, after all.  
  
It didn't occur to Akane that she had never gotten over  
her own fear of tasting her own food or of losing her  
beloved P-chan, but that was beside the point.  
  
Akane did, however, notice an odd brooding in Shampoo's eyes  
that even her cat form couldn't disguise. Shampoo then  
turned an icy cat-glare at Akane, which forced Akane to  
suddenly forget what she was thinking and to depart at once  
from the shop.  
  
***  
  
It was obvious to Nabiki and Kasumi that Ranma had suddenly  
changed. The usual half-aware smugness in his expressions  
would sometimes fade into stony calm or quiet confidence.  
Nabiki suddenly felt as though Ranma was, at times,  
approachable and even affable. Later, she found herself  
thinking about Ranma, and briefly wishing she could emulate  
that side of him that she had seen in those moments.  
  
Kasumi noticed that sometimes Ranma did not appear nervous  
or flighty, and that she actually felt genuine concern or  
warmth in his demeanor. It struck her as odd that Ranma  
offered to help with the food and that he was even home as  
soon as he was.  
  
Akane and Soun--her father--were as oblivious as could be to  
this sudden change, and Kasumi was never comfortable talking  
about anyone's personality traits to their face, so Nabiki's  
efforts at the dinner table to bring it up in conversation  
were futile.  
  
Genma--Ranma's father--noticed right away that Ranma seemed  
to be seized by a completely separate personality, but he  
shrugged it off in the usual way he always did in times like  
this.  
  
Ranma himself, not a complete fool, quickly picked up on  
what Nabiki was trying to say. Although he denied it at the  
time, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.  
  
In fact, Ranma was both blandly unconcerned and acutely  
interested in this state within himself. It didn't quite  
occur to him until later that his interest mainly depended  
on which personality was in control.  
  
The one thing he knew for certain was that this change in  
himself was a constant problem, and that this condition  
would appear at any moment for no particular reason.  
  
He was, in essence, like two people living at the same time  
in one body. Half of him found it very disturbing, and the  
other half shrugged it off in the normal way that Ranma  
generally did all things of this nature.  
  
***  
  
Now, the time went by in the usual way over the next few  
days. People sometimes said that Ranma had become more  
interesting than ever, and the girls at Furinkan high  
school, in particular, began to whisper among themselves  
about Ranma's manly charm and to give Akane the evil eye  
whenever she passed.  
  
Ranma, who had always kept Akane at arm's length in spite of  
them being engaged, seemed delighted at this situation  
(whenever he wasn't faintly amused by it). Akane, on the  
other hand, was less than thrilled.  
  
After school on this particular day, Akane was in a hurry to  
leave and in no mind to confront Ranma, especially. When  
she happened to notice him standing on a nearby tree branch,  
she turned up her nose and strode away with a look that  
threatened the stamping of her feet if things should turn  
out even worse.  
  
Ranma was puzzled for a moment, then muttered to himself,  
"She's just jealous." He looked up and noticed an  
attractive girl wearing a boy's uniform and a huge spatula  
strapped to her back, standing on a branch just above him.  
"Ucchan," he said, holding up his hand in greeting.  
  
Ukyo (or "Ucchan" as many people preferred), folded her arms  
and glared down at Ranma in irritation. "What's this I hear  
about you dating other girls!? You have a fiancee,  
remember? Me!"  
  
"What'sa?" Ranma started, then said, "Dating?"  
  
"You've been acting really strange, lately, Ranchan," she  
said (using his boyhood nickname that she sometimes  
preferred). "What's this all about?"  
  
Ukyo was always straight-to-the-point, and Ranma realized  
that he would get nowhere with her unless he was completely  
honest. "I wish I knew," he said.  
  
"Well," Ukyo said, giving him a nasty sideways glance, "I  
can let it slide, for now. If I catch you, you'll have some  
explaining to do. Don't think I won't."  
  
Ukyo leaped from the tree and deftly landed as Ranma said,  
"Sometimes it's good to be alive--"  
  
Just then, a shoe hit him in the head, and he was just  
starting to wonder who threw it when he heard Akane's  
disembodied voice saying, "I am *not* jealous!"  
  
Ranma smiled. It was a good pain, all-in-all. Ranma knew  
what the score was, and the way he saw it, he was way ahead  
on points alone. He had no idea why, but he was winning.  
He wondered if maybe being multiple-personality was  
attractive to girls.  
  
Akane, who had been engaged against her will by her father  
(and her sisters) to Ranma, was at least as relieved as she  
was annoyed by this situation. If Ranma was interested in  
others, then it would leave her free to be with whoever she  
chose. Of course, she might never admit it, but she would  
choose Ranma--in spite of him being a total jerk.  
  
Ranma, for his part, expected Akane to choose him--and that  
was the end of the matter, as far as he was concerned.  
  
Never mind the fact that Ranma's father had promised him  
long ago to another girl--named Ukyo. Once Ranma had  
confessed the fact that Ukyo was attractive (an easy  
confession for him), there was no doubt in Ukyo's mind that  
Ranma would eventually be married to her.  
  
Ranma knew quite well what Ukyo thought and had many times  
encouraged her to continue thinking this way (which should  
help explain some of Akane's attitude toward him).  
  
He began laughing and noticed Tatewaki Kuno strolling by.  
Kuno seemed to be slightly more perturbed than usual, as  
Ranma appeared and landed--squatting in his usual way on top  
of Kuno's head, continuing to laugh as he did so.  
  
Kuno merely rolled his eyes and said, "Ah, Ranma. Just the  
villain I was searching for."  
  
"Yo, Kuno," Ranma said.  
  
Kuno immediately produced a wooden practice sword and drove  
it toward where Ranma had been squatting a moment ago.  
Ranma neatly leaped over it, doing a split. Then, as Kuno  
continued stabbing and slashing at Ranma, Ranma nimbly  
dodged and ducked each time. "How's it hangin' Kuno?" Ranma  
asked, very calm and casual.  
  
"How dare you!?" Kuno spat, continuing to slash at Ranma.  
"Attempting to toy with my beloved Akane in this fashion is  
simply unforgivable! Ranma, you will pay!"  
  
Ranma realized that his laughter was what had probably set  
off Kuno, but this did not hinder him from laughing once  
again, as he continued to easily dodge and duck the blade of  
Kuno. He then suddenly realized how familiar all of this  
was--and in a way that seemed very alien to him. Suddenly,  
he saw some of the faces of the girls who were watching and  
recognized the look of stunned amazement on their faces.  
  
He began to think that this situation was far too familiar  
to them, in particular, and that if this were to continue  
much longer, they would only grow annoyed at both of them.  
These same girls had started to become familiar with Ranma's  
"manliness," and would be all the more disappointed and  
disgusted with him.  
  
Now all this merely took a moment for Ranma to realize, so  
it was no problem for him to leap over Kuno and restrain him  
from behind--forcing him to release his weapon. Some of  
those who witnessed this event said later that Ranma had  
"teleported" behind Kuno, but Ranma was simply very fast.  
  
"Whoa, there!" Ranma said. "Watch where you're stickin'  
that thing! You could really hurt somebody!"  
  
"Wha--!" Kuno floundered, as Ranma released him, a moment  
later.  
  
"If you wanna play," Ranma heard himself saying, "you gotta  
learn to be a little nicer. All right? No flingin' that  
stick around anymore."  
  
Kuno was off-balance by this kind of attack--usually being  
the one making demands of Ranma from his usual position of  
authority. Kuno had expected Ranma to be angry or petulant,  
but this was totally different. "Now, look!" Kuno said, a  
little hesitantly. "I am not to be spoken to in this  
manner! I am your elder!"  
  
Ranma seemed outside himself as he turned a look of such  
patronizing amusement to Kuno that Kuno flinched in shock.  
Ranma then turned and left the school grounds, as Kuno  
trembled in amazed humiliation.  
  
Many of the girls--who had not quite seen how Ranma had  
looked at Kuno, but were only amazed at Kuno's shock--  
nearly swooned in delight at Ranma's stunt and trampled over  
Kuno in chasing after Ranma (just as Kuno was beginning to  
get his composure back).  
  
Ranma, by now, had snuck away to the safety of his fence  
tops--where he continued strolling, as usual, just as if he  
were merely walking down the sidewalk.  
  
***  
  
"I'm sorry," Ranma said. His casual manner made it clear to  
Akane, however, that he felt she had been making a bigger  
deal out of it (whatever it was) than it was worth.  
  
Akane waited a moment, half expecting Ranma to continue,  
then said, "Fine. But you should have said something,  
earlier."  
  
Ranma sighed, lowered his gaze and turned to leave.  
  
Akane was about to add something when Nabiki appeared at her  
doorway and bumped into Ranma. "Oops!" Nabiki said, just as  
Ranma looked up and said, "Excuse me!"  
  
Ranma then quickly and smoothly navigated his way around and  
down the hallway, disappearing down the stairs.  
  
Akane slowly digested what had happened as Nabiki took  
another look and then disappeared briefly into her own room.  
  
Ranma had apologized, and sincerely. In spite of this, and  
the fact that Akane knew it had been sincere, she still felt  
angry that Ranma had apologized in such a casual way. She  
had even forgotten what it was he had apologized for in the  
first place, but that wasn't the issue.  
  
Akane growled and groaned, wishing she could rip Ranma limb  
from limb. Then she realized that she was getting angry at  
Ranma over something she couldn't even remember, and that  
made her even more angry. Then she saw herself in the  
mirror, and the grotesque mask that she assumed was her face  
made her even more angry.  
  
"Dammit!" she swore, pounding her own innocent head with her  
fist, then stopped as she started to see stars.  
  
More than ever, she felt that she had somehow wronged Ranma,  
and that she needed to say something encouraging to him.  
She nevertheless was convinced that it was still all Ranma's  
fault and that someone should give Ranma a thorough beating  
for it. Exhausted with the contradictions in her emotions,  
she sat at the edge of her bed, just as Nabiki appeared at  
her door.  
  
"You see what I mean?" Nabiki asked, not bothering to  
preface her question with a topic.  
  
"I don't understand anything, anymore," Akane muttered. "Is  
it wrong for me to still hate that jerk, even after he  
apologized like that?"  
  
"Huh?" said Nabiki.  
  
Akane found herself inexplicably crying again--her usual  
reaction to strange, conflicting emotions--and she wiped  
away a few tears. "Is Ranma a better person than me?  
Should I hate myself more than Ranma?"  
  
"Ranma apologized?" Nabiki asked, still a little stunned  
from Akane's earlier revelation. "To you?"  
  
Akane suddenly found herself imagining that Ranma was  
nothing more than a bloody mess in an alley, somewhere, and  
she had been the one who had hacked him up. Akane trembled  
and gusted with sobs.  
  
Nabiki, hardly bothering to notice Akane, absently told  
herself, "Now, that is a little hard to believe. I  
wonder..."  
  
As Nabiki wandered off, Akane tried to set her mind at ease,  
but the only thing she could think of was how strange this  
situation was and how she couldn't stop herself from crying,  
no matter how she tried.  
  
It was just about then that P-chan entered--Ryoga in the  
form of a small pig, actually--and tried to absorb this.  
  
For several minutes, all he could do was stare in wonder at  
Akane and think of how useless he was. No matter how he  
prodded her with his snout or whether he sat in her lap or  
even danced a little piggy dance, Akane ignored him--her  
face buried in her hands.  
  
Just as Ryoga was thinking it was hopeless and started to  
walk away, Akane spoke up.  
  
"P-chan, just go away. Leave me alone."  
  
She emphasized her words by kicking him out the door and  
slamming it shut.  
  
Even as his heart had sunk and he had been stalking away,  
some corner of his mind had held onto the hope that Akane  
would change her mind and comfort herself with picking him  
up and petting him. It was an indignity to him, but his  
honor could not bear to see her in such distress.  
  
Now he simply felt as though nothing in the world could  
possibly be worse than his own state of being. If there was  
a hell, he began to think that he was now truly in it.  
  
***  
  
Genma was disappointed with Ranma.  
  
Ranma usually gave Genma a good workout, and frankly, Ranma  
was usually far too much for Genma to handle.  
  
Today, Ranma was leaving openings left and right, and  
getting knocked down to the dojo floor over and over and  
over... It was getting downright embarrassing.  
  
Even worse still, Ranma's attitude had become dull and  
careless. To be sure, Ranma sometimes had a habit of  
becoming obtuse and carefree, but that was different.  
Subtle, but different.  
  
Always, there had been a subtle sharpness to his attitude.  
Now, it seemed that edge was gone. Genma was at his wit's  
end.  
  
"Ranma!" he barked. "Fight back, dammit!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." Ranma answered. He got up for a moment,  
only to immediately be knocked to the floor again by a well-  
placed kick from his father.  
  
Ranma again slowly got up, checking his wrist for his pulse  
and deliberately slowing his breath and heart rate.  
  
Genma scowled to himself, unable to recognize that habit in  
Ranma. In fact, Genma had never encouraged any particular  
habit in Ranma. So, to see Ranma checking his energy and  
making the most efficient use of his motions was disturbing.  
  
Ranma smiled and lazily said, "You're no fun today, Pop."  
  
Genma was a little shocked at this statement, and Ranma  
could have easily attacked Genma at several angles in that  
moment. Instead, Ranma slowly took a towel and wiped a bit  
of sweat from his forehead.  
  
"Are we done?" he asked.  
  
Genma wanted to swat Ranma down to the floor again, but he  
was worn out. Without Genma realizing it, Ranma had  
defeated him in the simplest way Genma could be defeated--by  
taking advantage of Genma being out of shape. Genma smiled  
as he recognized it.  
  
"I see this new personality has made you adjust your  
tactics, Ranma," he said. "But using your face to bruise  
someone's fist is a stupid way to fight."  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." Ranma said, standing proudly in a way that  
Genma couldn't recall before.  
  
Just then, the door slid open and Ryoga appeared--fire in  
his eyes and steam drifting from his head (suggesting that  
he had just doused himself with hot water to change back  
from being a pig). "Ranma!" Ryoga said, clenching his fist  
in baleful anger.  
  
"Now, this looks interesting," Ranma commented.  
  
Ryoga unceremoniously charged straight at Ranma, apparently  
intending to kill Ranma with one sharp punch to the head.  
Ranma was on his guard, however, and Genma was relieved for  
the moment that Ranma seemed back to his usual self.  
  
Ranma leaped and dodged and ducked until forcing Ryoga to  
overextend himself--making him vulnerable to a sharp kick  
from Ranma that sent Ryoga right through the floorboards  
into the ground below the dojo.  
  
"Damn, Ryoga," said Ranma, somewhat playfully. "I'm  
starting to think you mean it, this time."  
  
Ryoga returned with fury in his eyes, and carefully observed  
Ranma's every move with an intensity that was almost  
scorching.  
  
Genma suddenly wanted to call out to Ranma to be careful,  
but Genma knew that he didn't dare break Ranma's  
concentration. Ryoga seriously looked as if he wanted to  
murder Ranma, this time.  
  
The first punch Ryoga threw nearly ended Ranma right there,  
but Ranma was just fast enough to only suffer a nasty  
scratch--and to realize just how deadly serious Ryoga was.  
Ranma took a taste of his own blood and locked his  
concentration completely on Ryoga, then.  
  
What then happened was a blur of punches and kicks, followed  
by several moments of the two just standing, eying each  
other's movements. For what seemed like an hour, the fight  
continued until at last Ryoga found the break in Ranma's  
concentration that he was looking for, and smashed his fist  
into Ranma's face, knocking him cold to the floor.  
  
Ryoga was about to continue pounding Ranma when Akane  
appeared, pleading with him to stop.  
  
"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" she was yelling.  
  
Ryoga had been so lost in the haze of his anger that he  
hadn't noticed all the new observers. He looked around and  
noticed Genma for the first time, and Soun Tendo, Kasumi,  
Nabiki... His head began to swim.  
  
"Akane," he started, but Akane pushed him out of the way and  
hovered over Ranma, checking him.  
  
Ranma was okay, of course. The beating he had taken from  
Ryoga was nothing compared to some of the beatings Akane had  
given him in the past. Still, it had given Akane a scare,  
and it drove home to Ryoga the fact that no matter whether  
Akane liked P-chan, she would never like Ryoga--never mind  
love him the way that he loved her.  
  
As Ryoga ran away, he began to think that Akane probably  
didn't even like P-chan anymore, either.  
  
Standing next to this scene, Soun began to rub his chin and  
then remarked, "Say, Saotome. Is it just me, or is Ranma  
somehow... different?"  
  
"Hmm..." Genma replied. "Perhaps..."  
  
***  
  
So now, without having ever heard that old Amazon saying,  
the others in Ranma's life were all, nevertheless, aware  
that Ranma truly only possessed about half his own mind.  
The other half was as mysterious as the body he changed into  
whenever splashed with cold water.  
  
The odd thing was, however, that no one had tested his  
mysterious condition until a few days later.  
  
It had happened in much the same way that it always seemed  
to happen. Ranma was returning home from school when a  
sudden downpour burst from the sky, flinging cold water  
every which way the wind blew. Ranma, as usual, groaned and  
used his books as a makeshift umbrella till finding himself  
under the relative shelter of a shop front.  
  
Akane had been nagging him the whole way about something,  
but Ranma brushed it off until finding shelter.  
  
"But Ranma," Akane insisted. "You--"  
  
"Ooo!" Ranma exclaimed, noticing that they were standing in  
front of an ice cream stand. "Gotta get some! Gotta get  
some!"  
  
Akane sighed deeply and folded her arms in the usual  
irritated way, as Ranma bounced excitedly while ordering  
some ice cream. The man served him up a cone and then  
monotonously added the amount that it would cost.  
  
Ranma was a bit taken aback by this additional statement,  
and he attempted for a brief moment to use puppy-dog eyes to  
get out of having to pay, but it apparently wasn't going to  
work, this time.  
  
Normally (in girl form), Ranma would either get treats for  
free or he could nearly always count on someone else to buy  
treats for him. He assumed that it wasn't working because  
Akane was standing nearby, thereby cutting back on his  
cuteness--which was odd, since he just assumed it would work  
the other way around. Akane would never give Ranma even  
one yen, so Ranma forked over some of his own spare change  
and moved on to the next shop.  
  
The next shop over was a beef bowl place, and some rather  
rude young men pushed and shoved Ranma out of the way  
without so much as an apology. This struck Ranma as very  
odd, and he become annoyed at trying to figure out why  
people were treating him so strangely. He became even more  
annoyed when Akane again interrupted his train of thought.  
  
"Well, what do you expect?" Akane said. "You're still a g--"  
  
"Shut up, Akane!" he said, scratching his head. "I'm tryin'  
to think."  
  
"Fine!" Akane answered.  
  
"That's better," Ranma added, looking around for something  
familiar. He glanced across the street and happened to  
notice a local dress shop. He then dashed across the  
street, immediately going inside.  
  
Akane was stunned with shock, then suddenly had a moment of  
insight. Akane realized that the normal thing for Ranma to  
do would be to assume that because he was still dressed as a  
guy, that people would naturally treat him like a guy--so,  
the obvious solution would be to change into women's  
clothing.  
  
Akane was about to chase after him, but then thought better  
of it and just casually crossed the street--a devious smirk  
suddenly appearing on her face.  
  
Sure enough, when Akane entered the shop, Ranma had already  
changed into an adorable dress and was posing without having  
really *looked* at any of the many mirrors in the shop.  
  
Naturally, there were several young women standing around--  
all terribly engrossed by this new attraction. It took a  
few moments for Ranma to realize that they were all staring  
at him in horror and amazement.  
  
Ranma had a long, sickening moment to slowly realize several  
things all at once:  
  
"Oh, crap!" he thought. "Am I actually still a guy?"  
  
"Wait!" he thought. "I just came out of the pouring rain!  
How could I still be guy?"  
  
"Geez!" he thought. "Why are these girls looking at me like  
that?! If I'm a guy, I must look like a total *pervert!*"  
  
Ranma slowly turned to take a good look at a nearby mirror,  
and he flinched in shock when he saw himself. He was,  
indeed, a guy. For a moment, he had an overwhelming urge to  
leap for joy that he hadn't changed into a girl for once in  
a long time, and the next moment he had an overwhelming urge  
to hide himself under a rock somewhere.  
  
He became stunned with embarrassment, however, when several  
of the girls started giggling uncontrollably. Several of  
the other girls started throwing things at him, yelling,  
kicking and screaming, as Akane rolled her eyes and  
muttered, "Idiot."  
  
***  
  
At supper, later that evening, Akane recounted the story in  
loving detail to a delighted Nabiki and somewhat mortified  
Kasumi and Soun. Genma was mildly amused, but he also  
seemed a little wary. Genma then at once threw cold water  
on Ranma, and proclaimed:  
  
"Well, I'll be! You really are cured!"  
  
Ranma looked up, briefly annoyed, then turned back to his  
food very casually.  
  
Akane, who had been watching Ranma's reaction, was even more  
intrigued. She had seen Ranma retaliate over much less than  
this, and she knew that Ranma could never hide his anger  
this well.  
  
Nabiki, who was already well ahead of Akane, suggested, "I  
wonder what else Ranma is cured of."  
  
A moment later, Genma returned with a cat and tossed it on  
top of Ranma's head. The cat clung to Ranma's face for  
another moment, as Ranma sighed. He then removed the cat  
from his face and calmed it--gently petting it and speaking  
to it in a soothing manner. In no time at all, the cat  
curled up in Ranma's lap, and Ranma continued eating his  
soggy rice.  
  
For the next hour or so, the others had returned with dozens  
of cats--just to make certain that this wasn't a fluke.  
Eventually, they were forced to admit that Ranma had indeed  
been cured of more than one ailment, even if he was still an  
idiot.  
  
Akane--who had seen Ranma pick up Shampoo the cat one  
moment, then toss her away in terror the next moment--was a  
little skeptical about the "cure" part of the equation, but  
she had to admit that she was impressed with his endurance.  
  
Later that evening, Ranma impressed them all with his sudden  
understanding of the Chinese language. Akane--who had taken  
up Chinese several years ago as a hobby--tested Ranma on his  
ability to use proper grammar, and Ranma tested her on  
proper pronunciation.  
  
For an hour or so, Ranma and Akane did nothing but test each  
other's Chinese ability--each one thought they had the upper  
hand, in spite of Ranma's inexplicable fluency.  
  
For Genma and Soun, it was refreshing to see Akane and Ranma  
communicating so well with each other, but it was irritating  
that they couldn't understand a word of it.  
  
Ranma and Akane seemed to be in a heated argument (over the  
proper usage of a particular group of symbols), so Soun and  
Genma went out to the backyard porch to unwind with a little  
shogi.  
  
Akane and Ranma were starting to growl, and the look of  
playful intensity on Ranma's face made Akane start to break  
up and laugh.  
  
"Laugh it up, huh?" Ranma said (in Chinese).  
  
"You should see your face!" Akane said (also in Chinese).  
  
It then seemed to occur to them that they could hold an  
entire conversation without fear of the others overhearing a  
word, and Ranma said, "I'm really worried."  
  
Akane, noticing the serious tone, suddenly became serious  
and said, "You are?"  
  
"Yeah," Ranma said.  
  
Akane frowned for a moment, then beamed, saying, "Wow!  
That's so great!" When Ranma looked a little annoyed, Akane  
added, "I mean, it's great that you admit it. Normally you  
never tell me anything, Ranma."  
  
"Yeah," Ranma said.  
  
"So?" Akane asked. "What are you worried about? You've  
gotten cured, haven't you?"  
  
Ranma then said something that even Akane couldn't  
translate, and added, "But it's not the same, you know?"  
  
Now normally, Akane would protest her ignorance, but she  
found herself agreeing with Ranma. Something in Ranma's  
manner suggested to her that Ranma needed her to understand,  
and that asking stupid questions would just cause him to  
worry more--or worse, begin to lose patience with her.  
  
"I'm so glad, Akane," he said. "I know I can trust you."  
  
Akane agreed again, knowing that the missing thing to which  
she was agreeing was vital, and also knowing that not  
knowing could possibly cause serious harm, but agreeing all  
the same.  
  
"Don't tell anyone else," Ranma added.  
  
"I won't," Akane said, and she could hardly be more honest  
about that.  
  
Of course, without having realized it--because it wasn't his  
normal personality, or because this personality did such  
things habitually--Ranma had used an obscure idiom to relate  
the idea of his having two distinct people in one mind.  
Akane merely assumed that Ranma was referring to some change  
in his attitude (the theory that she was operating under),  
and that that was the end of the matter.  
  
So, when Ranma said, "I don't know if it's really me, or  
whether anyone else would be able to understand--" Akane  
just assumed that he was speaking metaphorically.  
  
***  
  
And just at that moment, Genma hit his hand in realization,  
got up from the game he was playing with Soun, and threw a  
cold bucket of water on himself, explaining that, "The curse  
has probably just run its course!"  
  
A moment later, he was in panda-form. He held up a sign,  
saying, "Or maybe not..."  
  
***  
  
What later occurred between Ranma and the others was mostly  
in keeping with this pattern. Ranma showed some part of his  
normal personality, found himself involved in one silly and  
dangerous situation after another as a result--often with  
humorous effects, when judging from a point of view other  
than Ranma's--and generally made himself a nuisance until  
someone punished him for not showing more of his new-and-  
improved personality.  
  
Whenever someone would ask Akane about it much later, she  
would sigh and explain that Ranma simply had a knack for  
getting into trouble. It spared her the task of explaining  
how Ranma would encounter Happosai or Cologne or any number  
of other improbable people and wind up battling through some  
mock-heroic scenarios.  
  
But for all of Ranma's adventures, he never encountered  
Ryoga--the guy he considered his main rival. Ryoga had run  
away for the last time, it seemed.  
  
Ryoga had always been the anchor in Ranma's stormy seas of  
Akane's angst, and Ranma had always depended on Ryoga's  
stern and serious attitude to help guide Ranma away from the  
more fantastic stunts of stupidity Ranma sometimes found  
himself in.  
  
Ranma knew that only Ukyo would sympathize with him, but  
Ukyo was the last person Ranma wanted to see.  
  
Deep in his heart, Ranma felt that he was betraying himself  
in some vague way, and he could not bear to have Ukyo's  
emotional support. Ukyo had been untainted by the stink of  
any real curse, and he wanted her to remain that way.  
  
Ukyo would no doubt have some rapport with his new  
personality, and she would delve into it until involving  
herself or maybe even losing herself in it. Ranma didn't  
trust it, though, and he was fairly certain it had something  
to do with his curse--which was not to say that he hated  
this new personality.  
  
Sometimes--when dueling with pastry monsters, or fending off  
panty raids, or even just the usual domestic disturbance  
battles--he found himself feeling as if his heart was going  
to burst with pride, and that his picture of himself had  
seemed a lot darker and blurred than this new one. It was  
inevitably in these moments that he started to understand  
why this strange personality seemed so magnetic to other  
people. People simply wanted to share in that warmth he  
felt toward himself.  
  
It was a burden, too, because he began to feel more than  
ever now that the one person he wanted to show off this  
personality to was Ryoga. He had already outshone Miss  
Hinako--his English teacher--several times, and although it  
was very satisfying to put the charming half-girl, half-  
adult in her place, he just didn't feel the satisfaction of  
having outshone someone as grim and serious as Ryoga.  
  
Somewhere between the third or fourth pickle at dinner, he  
was just beginning to think that he should confront Kuno  
again--for the sport of it, of course--when Akane broke his  
concentration and announced that Ryoga was getting married.  
  
"Say what?" Ranma asked.  
  
"It's true," Akane answered, holding out a letter to Ranma.  
  
"Gimme that," Ranma said, and immediately read through it.  
  
It seemed at long last, Ryoga was going to tie the knot with  
Akari--a girl he'd met some time ago that had had a strange  
fascination with pigs and had fallen deeply in love with him.  
  
Ranma took brief amusement out of the last line, "The  
wedding will be held some time in the month of May."  
  
"That's Ryoga, all right," Ranma said, a measure of relief  
in his voice. "I wonder if he can keep to that narrow a  
schedule."  
  
Akane smiled for a moment, then frowned and said, "Are you  
okay with this?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean," Akane said, clearing her throat, "after everything  
that happened last time."  
  
"Well," Ranma instantly replied in a very casual tone that  
told Akane he was drifting into his alternate personality  
again, "he is my best friend and rival. You'd have a hard  
time tryin' to keep me away."  
  
Ranma looked at Akane seriously for a moment--which annoyed  
Akane. She could never tell what he was thinking, even  
before he developed a split-personality. Now, it was just  
daunting to her to see Ranma stare at her like that. "What?"  
Akane finally said.  
  
"It's gotta be a little hard for you, though," Ranma said.  
"He really looked up to you, after all."  
  
Akane grimaced and said, "You think I should apologize?"  
  
"Your choice," Ranma replied. "If it were me, though, I'd  
play one last little prank on him, for old time's sake."  
  
"You would," Akane said, looking a little reproachful.  
Ranma was just about to explain what he meant when Akane  
took the letter back, saying, "Don't bother."  
  
***  
  
It was deeply disappointing to Ranma that Akane wouldn't go  
along with his gag, because Akane would naturally be the  
centerpiece of a perfect practical joke on Ryoga. Ryoga  
would hardly notice something as banal as a rip in his  
tuxedo pants or slipping on a banana peel, and changing him  
into P-chan during the ceremony would probably be going a  
bit too far. Letting him think for a moment that he had a  
real shot at Akane would probably be just enough for a real  
laugh without getting him into *too* much trouble.  
  
He, instead, contented himself with knowing that Ryoga  
wasn't committing suicide or doing some outrageous training  
to upstage him, anymore. Ryoga wasn't about to become an  
irresponsible jerk like Ranma, so Ryoga would think of his  
family from now on.  
  
All the same, Ranma was starting to think fondly of his old  
battles with Ryoga, and he more than once caught himself  
thinking about going out to find Ryoga just so they could  
spar with each other one more time.  
  
It was difficult, but he found that this stranger within him  
understood quite well how to cope with this situation.  
There would always be newer and better rivals. Whatever the  
change in the battlefield or the contestants, the pride he  
would feel would never change. For all his vaunted  
strength, Ryoga could never truly match Ranma in speed nor  
adaptability. Ryoga would only, ultimately, hold him back  
from being able to face a real challenge.  
  
When it came time to go to the chapel--and they had to  
hurry, because they had been waiting some time for Ryoga to  
show up--the others were impressed by Ranma's maturity.  
  
Nothing out of the ordinary happened at the ceremony, and  
the priest even remarked that he'd never seen a marriage go  
so smoothly.  
  
Afterward, Ranma and Ryoga had embraced each other in mutual  
friendship, wishing each other genuinely the best of luck.  
For Soun Tendo, it was a day of great sadness and joy--to  
think that he could witness such an event, even if it wasn't  
for one of his own daughters. For Genma Saotome, it was an  
annoying waste of time that he had been sincerely hoping  
would be ruined somehow by Ranma. For Akane and her  
sisters, it was like a moment of surreal fantasy that they  
thought they would wake up from at any moment.  
  
When they returned to the Tendo household, Ranma could not  
shake the feeling that he was to be next to go through this  
merry-go-round of formalities and uncomfortable clothes, and  
it stunned him into grim silence.  
  
As a matter of fact, it would mean absolutely nothing for  
Ranma to have a wedding ceremony--he was simply not old  
enough to be legally married, so any marriage would be  
strictly for show. Ryoga, however, was in the same  
situation, and it didn't matter. Ryoga could not reasonably  
expect to date anyone after this, and that made all the  
difference in the world--though he had never *really* dated  
anyone other than Akari.  
  
It was acutely obvious to everyone else what Ranma was going  
through--especially to Akane, the one to whom he would be  
wed--so they steered well clear of Ranma and his brooding.  
  
In fact, they had steered so far around him that no one  
noticed that--somewhere between the wedding chapel and the  
Tendo home--he had somehow changed to girl-form.  



	2. Beating a Dead Horse

  
  
Part 2: Beating a Dead Horse  
  
  
After having somehow survived the trauma of seeing his best  
friend married suddenly, Ranma would naturally be expected  
to laugh and blow it all off one moment, then turn around  
and begin weeping uncontrollably the next. This was  
actually quite normal for Ranma, and Kasumi was already  
working on a consolation meal for him.  
  
Ranma, however, had started to become dignified and even  
respectable. It would possibly become him more to bottle up  
his anger for a few days, then let it all vent out in one  
brutal and defensive tirade. Nabiki had already put a stack  
of magazines together in her room, and was getting ready for  
a long siege.  
  
On the other hand, Ranma never took well to being girl-type.  
If he was stuck for some time as boy-type it would then  
follow that he was now stuck as girl-type. Ranma would  
possibly spend a few hours trying to turn back, then run  
away somewhere to unwind. Akane might have already guessed  
this much and would have been packed and ready to go. If  
Akane had known--that is--she would have been ready.  
  
Instead, Akane came to dinner that evening to discover that  
Nabiki and Ranma had not turned up, and she was mildly  
surprised but not altogether bothered by it.  
  
When she went upstairs, she briefly thought about knocking  
on the door to Ranma's room and having a nice little  
conversation, but she decided at the last moment to let it  
wait.  
  
Later that evening, Kasumi had come by her room and had  
asked about Ranma, but Akane didn't know where he had gone.  
When Akane went to bed, she briefly fretted about him,  
thinking every time she heard a noise outside that it was  
Ranma.  
  
When Akane found herself looking outside from her window for  
the tenth time, she realized it was time to get serious with  
herself and send herself to bed.  
  
The next morning, Akane noticed Genma and was briefly  
relieved--thinking that if Genma was there, it would only be  
natural for Ranma to turn up. She was a little shocked,  
however, when Genma later chuckled and asked Akane if she  
had seen Ranma.  
  
When she got over her shock, Akane quite naturally grew  
angry, blaming Ranma for her distress. If he was going to  
run off, fine--but he could at least tell someone about it,  
first. She went to school that day, determined to tell him  
off, and then maybe beat the tar out of him for good  
measure.  
  
When she arrived at class, she discovered that no one had  
spotted Ranma. Several times, friends of hers would show up  
and ask her where Ranma was. Akane even overheard rumors  
that she had finally gone berserk, killed Ranma, and buried  
his body in the backyard.  
  
Akane could bear it if Ranma had run off and had left her  
for good. She could shrug it off for a week or two, then  
eventually recover in a few years or so. She could even  
bear the stigma of ugly rumors about herself and Ranma.  
Akane knew that rumors would fade in time. What she could  
not bear was the fact that she was worried about him and she  
had no way of knowing what had happened.  
  
It was typical of him, though. Ranma would make some stupid  
decision that would put everyone else in a difficult  
position. Even worse, whenever confronted with the  
evidence, Ranma would come up with an asinine excuse for  
making them upset. It made her so mad at times that Akane  
would inadvertently scare people into believing the rumors  
about her being a killer even more--which would only  
frustrate her more.  
  
Of course, there were times when Ranma was in serious  
trouble and wouldn't be able to explain himself. Ranma had  
been attacked and kidnapped so many times that Akane was  
starting to lose count. And how many times had Ranma been  
attacked that Akane didn't even know about? Akane knew  
quite well that if Ranma had been attacked, his pride would  
never allow him to admit it--if the situation was just as  
well without it. There were many times when Ranma wouldn't  
admit to being hurt or humiliated, even when Akane had  
witnessed it.  
  
Whenever Akane began thinking this way, she would become sad  
and upset on his behalf--thinking that she wished there was  
a way she could know something that would help. Then, she  
would inevitably discover her mood had dipped, blame it on  
Ranma for being an idiot, and become angry all over again.  
  
Thus, Akane rode the roller coaster of her emotions all day  
at school, hoping for some word about Ranma, and also  
dreading that she might hear something about him--that he  
had been hurt or killed, for example. Ranma had made many  
enemies, over the years, after all.  
  
At one point, Akane had heard the rumor being whispered for  
the thirtieth time about her being a murderer, and she  
screamed, "I wish I had killed that idiot! If I don't find  
him soon, he's a dead man!"  
  
After that, people began adding that if Akane were ever  
brought to trial, she would almost certainly plead insanity.  
  
***  
  
Over the next few days, it was becoming obvious that Ranma  
wouldn't turn up, so Soun and Genma went out looking for  
him--an activity that mainly consisted of hanging out at all  
the bars and ramen shops in the areas they were "searching."  
  
Just as they were starting to get short on funding--and they  
were starting to seriously consider finding Ranma--Akane  
resolved the matter by furiously setting out on her own.  
  
Akane at once chose the Cat Cafe as the first place to look,  
and, of course, immediately found Ranma there--hiding out in  
the kitchen, eating a bowl of ramen.  
  
What followed was a hideous scream that could be heard for  
miles around.  
  
***  
  
In a flash, Akane had Ranma by the shirt front, and had  
slammed him up against the wall.  
  
"Yo, Akane," he said.  
  
"Ranma!" Akane shouted. "Do you enjoy torturing me!? I've  
been worried sick about you, and all you do is..."  
  
One moment, Akane had been in a rage. The next moment, she  
suddenly found herself confused and almost a little  
mortified. "Ummm..." she added. She let Ranma go, and  
blinked several times--as if to convince herself that she  
really was looking at Ranma.  
  
While Akane was scanning Ranma, he turned away--somewhat  
disgracefully--and looked downward.  
  
It was fairly obvious to Akane now that Ranma had turned  
back to girl-type. He had become a she--with the breasts to  
prove it. Once Akane had settled that matter in her mind,  
she again flared, "What the hell is wrong with you!?"  
  
"What?!" Ranma said, suddenly defensive.  
  
It was at times like this that Akane would find herself.  
Suddenly, she found that she just didn't care anymore. "Let  
Ranma just do whatever he or she wants," she thought to  
herself. She turned and left--or rather, she thought about  
turning and leaving, anyway. She turned and caught herself  
weeping without any awareness of why she was weeping--other  
than maybe her eyes just had a mind of their own.  
  
She turned to Ranma again and asked her, "Why? Why do you  
keep doing this to me?"  
  
"Akane..." Ranma began, and suddenly they discovered that  
they had an audience.  
  
Without them realizing it, Soun, Genma, Kasumi--who was busy  
serving tea to Soun and Genma--Nabiki, Cologne, Shampoo, and  
several of the customers had packed themselves into the  
kitchen to overhear this conversation.  
  
Ranma scowled and said, in Chinese, "I think it would be  
better if we had less of an audience."  
  
Akane looked around, took the hint, and answered in Chinese,  
"I think you're right."  
  
Cologne joined them and said, "Now, that's a good idea."  
  
Shampoo added, "Uh-yuh. Dats a good idea, uh-right."  
  
As Cologne rolled her eyes, Ranma and Akane groaned briefly  
--to think that Shampoo's speech impediment wasn't limited  
to just Japanese.  
  
***  
  
When they realized they were being left out of the  
conversation, most of the audience left the kitchen. Soun,  
however, stayed through most of it. Although he couldn't  
understand a word of it, he liked the non-verbal  
communication going on between Akane and Ranma. It seemed  
to him that they were finishing each other's sentences, and  
that they would even sometimes share a little inside joke  
with each other. Whatever it was, it was definitely  
something Shampoo took a disliking to, and Shampoo soon  
stormed out of the kitchen.  
  
Maybe it was just Soun's imagination, but whatever they  
talked about, Akane would just get angry if asked about it  
--and, of course, Shampoo would refuse to discuss it.  
Cologne would say that it was personal and leave it at that.  
If they ever asked Ranma, he would gladly answer--in  
Chinese. So, whatever they talked about was just between  
Ranma and Akane.  
  
Kasumi, however, managed to pick up a few little details  
here and there over the years, and eventually wrote that  
Ranma had been terribly embarrassed to discover that he'd  
reverted to girl-form again, and had simply not wanted  
anyone "important" to him to see him that way. Now, of  
course, this was totally out of character for Ranma--or even  
Ranma's "alternate" personality--so we may never know what  
was actually said.  
  
Maybe Soun was already thinking optimistically, and maybe  
Akane was just flattering herself--and helping Ranma save  
face. But whatever they talked about, it did upset Shampoo  
quite a bit, although none of them felt guilty enough to go  
placate Shampoo.  
  
Ranma did, in fact, return to the Tendo home afterward, and  
it was found out for certain that Ranma was stuck in girl-  
form. This was nothing particularly new, and Akane's  
sisters were at a loss why Ranma would react the way she  
did.  
  
There was a subtle difference in the way Ranma looked,  
but only Nabiki noticed it--from having photographed Ranma  
so many times--and Nabiki was keeping it to herself for now.  
  
In the kitchen, Ranma asked if she could help out with  
making supper, and Kasumi was more than happy to let Ranma  
help, this time.  
  
At supper, Ranma was careful--yet still swift--about eating,  
and she was heading toward her room for an early trip to bed  
when the next big problem suddenly arose.  
  
***  
  
Ranma glanced back around at the table as she stood and  
said, "Well, g'night everybody. Big day tomorrow. Lots of  
homework, too..." Ranma said this last part under her  
breath, already dreading the assignments she had missed, and  
she reflexively looked to Akane.  
  
At first, Ranma didn't really notice, and she was in the  
hallway--halfway to the stairway at the entrance--when she  
turned and dashed back toward the living room.  
  
"Ak... Ak... Aka--!" Ranma exclaimed, pointing at Akane.  
  
The others reacted in mild surprise, looking at Ranma as if  
she had suddenly gone insane.  
  
"Wha-?" Akane started.  
  
"Your f... fuh... fuh... fuh..." Ranma explained.  
  
Nabiki rolled her eyes and obligingly glanced at Akane,  
earning herself a shock, in the process. "Ngyah!" Nabiki  
added.  
  
"You have a w... wuh... wuh... wuh... thingy..." Ranma  
continued.  
  
"A what?" Soun asked, as Kasumi looked at Akane, curiously.  
  
"Oh my!" Kasumi said, and now everyone was looking at  
Akane's face--even Akane, who suddenly had a hand mirror.  
  
"AAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGH!" Akane screamed, unable to withstand  
the sight of her own face. Once again, there were whiskers  
on her cheeks.  
  
"Akane," Nabiki started, "have you been in the super soba  
again?"  
  
"Why?!" Akane answered. "Why!? Why!? Why!?" She punctuated  
each question with the slamming of her hand on the table.  
  
"Oh my, oh my, oh my..." Kasumi added.  
  
"I guess not," Nabiki replied to herself.  
  
Soun, who had already been through so much this day, simply  
got up--reeled just a little--and headed straight for bed.  
Genma seemed totally oblivious to all this, only staring at  
the TV as if there were nothing in the world happening.  
  
Ranma, who had been staring, suddenly smirked a tiny little  
smirk, was about to say something, then suddenly thought  
better of it.  
  
Akane dashed off to her room, weeping as she went.  
  
***  
  
Now, the next day, Ranma had every right to still be upset  
and to think that every teacher who chewed her out or made  
snide remarks about her absence was worth throwing a temper  
tantrum over. No one would have blamed her, had she begun  
muttering about the huge piles of work they gave her to do--  
especially when those piles of work included assignments  
that Akane was now missing, since she had mysteriously  
disappeared from school.  
  
It might reasonably be expected that Ranma would grow  
irritated at the increasing attention Kuno--who was  
convinced that the "pigtailed-girl" had returned just for  
his benefit--was giving her.  
  
One might have even expected Ranma to become annoyed at all  
the explanations people were demanding of her. There  
certainly weren't any shortage of people asking.  
  
Ranma, however, was nothing more than amused by all this.  
Quite often, Ranma would find a way to set the groups of  
people demanding explanations against Kuno--and thus resolve  
the matter to her satisfaction.  
  
To Ranma, schoolwork had always meant more teeth-grinding  
than actual work, and her pleasure at Akane's expense had  
guided her smoothly through her usual anticipation. In  
fact, she hardly noticed it when she had finished working.  
  
She was so absorbed in doing all this work that unpleasant  
remarks about her absence and her current state were simply  
ignored, and Ranma even drifted through her practice  
sessions with Genma.  
  
At home, Ranma was becoming so studious that Soun more than  
once confused her with Kasumi, which made Genma begin to  
refer to Ranma as "Kasumi," rather mockingly.  
  
Nabiki--who had always enjoyed toying with Ranma and Akane--  
began referring to Kasumi as "Ranma," but soon grew bored  
with Kasumi's narrowed gaze and indulgent sighs. Ranma and  
Akane were no fun for her, though. Ranma was spending too  
much time working to notice Nabiki, and Nabiki was too  
nervous to visit Akane. Akane was starting to give everyone  
the creeps.  
  
Every night, nevertheless, Ranma visited Akane's room to  
give her the assignments she was missing while she was  
"sick."  
  
***  
  
Upon entering Akane's room, Ranma made the usual nightly  
flinch of ever-growing disgust.  
  
Once, Akane's room had been simple and neat--almost Spartan  
in its neatness. Akane had always encouraged and even  
welcomed light into her room, and the light had always  
seemed to gleam with a modest and understated glow.  
  
Now, it seemed that Akane's room was a dark and forbidding  
place--a place where even shadows would turn away from the  
hideous shapes that lurked in the corners. Though Ranma had  
begun to think of Akane's room as an unpleasant place to  
have to go, these thoughts were nothing compared to the  
reality of her room, now. Now, she was actually afraid.  
  
Many times in the past, Akane would sit at her desk or go to  
the balcony and gaze up at the stars. Akane had always been  
wistful and musing.  
  
All that Ranma could see of Akane now were the two glimmers  
of faint lights that he assumed were reflections of the  
hallway in her eyes.  
  
"Ranma," Akane said, her voice strained but otherwise  
unchanged. "Come in and close the door, would you?"  
  
Ranma took a deep swallow and entered, trying the light  
switch as she entered. The darkness continued, and--if  
anything--perhaps became a little deeper. She tried it a  
few more times, and she *felt* more than could see Akane  
smirking at her. As Ranma closed the door, she felt her  
heart sinking as deep as the darkness suddenly became.  
  
"Sorry about the light," Akane said, "but I just got sick of  
looking at myself."  
  
It was a little disconcerting to Ranma to hear Akane  
speaking so casually in such a setting. It made Ranma all  
the more speechless that Akane had even admitted to looking  
at herself.  
  
Just as Ranma began to wonder, Akane said, "Yeah, it's  
getting worse." This unsettled Ranma even more--wondering  
if Akane had suddenly been able to read her mind. "I doubt  
you would recognize me, Ranma," she added.  
  
Ranma felt a chill as she realized that she *had* once been  
unable to recognize Akane, and Ranma's first thought was to  
protest that things were different, now.  
  
"Not that you care, of course," Akane added. "Right,  
Ranma?"  
  
"Hey--" Ranma started, and was immediately cut off by  
Akane's soft laughter.  
  
"What?" Akane said a little skeptically. "You weren't about  
to deny it, were you? Ranma, don't make me laugh."  
  
Ranma wasn't sure whether she was more offended by Akane's  
accusations or by the fact that they were mostly true.  
"I've cared about you a hella lot longer than you cared  
about me," she found herself saying, and immediately  
realized it was her alternate personality.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Akane answered.  
  
"Yeah," Ranma said, a bit weaker. "Don't get the wrong  
idea," she added. "I just ain't the jerk you seem to think  
I am."  
  
Akane snorted, and whether it was from laughter or from  
choking back a sob, she added, "Now, how did you ever get  
that idea?"  
  
Girl or boy, Ranma could never stand these touchy-feely  
situations, and she promptly changed the subject. "I got  
your assignments for today."  
  
Akane took the stack of papers from Ranma and immediately  
asked, "Why are they wet?"  
  
"Well," Ranma said somewhat sheepishly, "I got caught in the  
middle of Kuno fighting with his sister again, and I had to  
go fish them out of the canal..."  
  
Akane audibly sighed as Ranma continued her story of this  
latest adventure, becoming all the more bored as Ranma  
became all the more enthusiastic in telling it.  
  
Bored though she was, Akane listened intently to every  
detail. Her brooding and her gloom hadn't quite affected  
her attitude. Akane knew that listening to Ranma was  
important, even if many of the things she said were absurdly  
trivial.  
  
She did have her limit, though. Just as Ranma was warming  
up to how she had caught the scent of something that smelled  
like a certain fried fish and seemed about to embark on an  
epic of her previous adventures in fish--and all the  
different scents fried fish could have--Akane realized that  
enough was enough, and promptly shoved Ranma out the door.  
  
Before she fully realized it, Ranma was talking to herself  
in the hallway. She laughed for a moment, then folded her  
arms and became petulant as she added, "Now, that was rude!"  
  
***  
  
Akane's affliction was a topic of some discussion around the  
dinner table over the next couple of days, and it was pretty  
much assumed that Ranma was the only possible cause and  
solution to this affliction--despite the fact that they  
could neither prove that Ranma had had anything to do with  
it nor that they even knew what it was that Akane was  
suffering from.  
  
Ranma felt pretty strongly--and her alternate personality  
whole-heartedly agreed--that there was not only no share of  
guilt to be dealt to her, but that there was no practical  
way she could even start to solve the problem--whatever it  
was.  
  
No one except Kasumi could even say for certain what Akane  
even looked like, and Kasumi would refuse to talk about it.  
Ranma had no real interest in seeing Akane's face. Ranma  
had a slight, lingering curiosity, but that was the extent  
of it. Akane would certainly not oblige Ranma's capricious  
(and frequently unbearable) gaze, and Ranma knew her well  
enough to not even ask.  
  
Try as she might, though, nothing Ranma did could shake a  
feeling of some amount of responsibility, and it was really  
beginning to get irritating.  
  
What was worse, Ranma began to think that this situation was  
familiar in a way, and that she really ought to know who was  
behind it, by now.  
  
Just as she was thinking that--and finishing off some bread  
she had been snacking on--she happened to cross paths with  
Shampoo--who had just finished a delivery, and was returning  
to the Cat Cafe.  
  
"Nihao!" Shampoo greeted her. "Ranma come looking for  
Shampoo!"  
  
Ranma watched in fascination as Shampoo grabbed her by the  
arm and began to cuddle with her. "I don't change back, you  
know," Ranma said.  
  
"I no care," Shampoo said. "I know Ranma's heart is man."  
  
Ranma sighed and realized that Shampoo had immediately sized  
up the situation. Without giving it much thought, Ranma  
began to also realize that what she really needed was to get  
away from all the stunned glares of people watching her and  
Shampoo, and to get into a nice big fight--preferably one  
she could rightfully expect to win (anything with the words  
"martial arts" in the title ought to be good enough).  
  
And just then, as if fate itself had read her mind, Ranma  
suddenly found herself looking at the infamous "Cat Temple,"  
which had provided Ranma with many memorable torments, not  
too long ago. Looking at it now, Ranma felt a surge of  
excitement in her manly heart and cracked her knuckles,  
saying, "Shampoo, I'm not sure I should tell you this, but  
I've recently gotten over my fear of cats."  
  
Ranma missed it, but Shampoo was shocked into silence by  
this confession.  
  
Ranma continued, "I'm not exactly sure how, but I've  
suddenly come to feel that I can even grow to love cats."  
  
"Aiyaa!" Shampoo tried to say, but found that she had no  
voice. It didn't matter. Ranma wasn't looking at her.  
  
As Ranma dashed toward the old, abandoned temple, Shampoo  
took a moment to collect herself before chasing after.  
  
***  
  
Ranma knew, perhaps better than anybody, that she'd been  
trained well to be terrified of cats, and one does not  
simply overcome a fear by willing it to be. Under normal  
circumstances, it would have taken many years of intensive  
retraining for Ranma to have had any success with her  
phobia--and, even then, she would still have many years of  
relapses to look forward to.  
  
Ever since her "transformation," however, Ranma began to  
sense that there was powerful magic at work in her mind. As  
a well-trained martial artist, Ranma knew the connection and  
harmony between the mind and body, and so it was no surprise  
to Ranma that this magic would affect her conditioning, as  
well.  
  
How the magic worked, exactly, was a mystery even to Ranma.  
All Ranma knew was that when the other personality took  
control, she wasn't even slightly bothered by cats. And  
ever since Ryoga left, Ranma began to feel that losing  
control wasn't such a bad thing.  
  
The only thing that bothered her, in fact, was that she  
began to feel strangely bored all the time, and there was a  
persistent feeling in the back of her mind that no one was  
really listening to her.  
  
Ranma rushed up to the entrance and was unsurprised to see  
the giant monster cat, Mao Mo Lin, appear literally out of  
thin air from a large, floating bell. Mao Mo Lin seemed  
delighted for a moment, then flinched in shock.  
  
"Ack!" he said, waving his paws at Ranma. "Keep away or  
I'll bite you!"  
  
Ranma smiled and calmly took in the sight of Mao Mo Lin  
looking away as he brandished his paw at Ranma pathetically.  
A moment later, Shampoo appeared and bludgeoned the cat with  
a kick to the head.  
  
"Crazy cat!" she said. "What you do with Ranma?!"  
  
"Relax, Shampoo," Ranma said. "I ain't freaked out about  
this guy anymore."  
  
"Owwie!" the cat cried. "What'd you do that for?"  
  
"You shut big cat trap!" Shampoo blared. "You want Shampoo  
get mad?"  
  
"Heh," Ranma said, folding her arms. "It's okay. It's  
okay. Cats don't scare me."  
  
"Is that so?" the cat said. "Maybe I should do this..."  
  
Mao Mo Lin growled and hissed in feline fury, then slowly  
deflated back to normal when he saw that it wasn't making an  
impression. Ranma again cracked her knuckles, and said,  
"You better get ready, cat, cause I've been savin' this up  
for a long time."  
  
***  
  
Outside the Cat temple, several passersby turned to see what  
all the commotion was--hearing several loud crashes and  
thuds.  
  
***  
  
Ranma was in a good mood for supper that night, so no one  
bothered her about finding a cure for Akane--in fact, Soun  
began thinking that Ranma was close to finding one. Genma,  
however, recognized that mood, and he switched to panda form  
as soon as he saw it--knowing that Ranma would be anxious to  
fight again as soon as possible, and that she would probably  
still be strong and keen with those kicks.  
  
Nabiki, infected by the mood, had teased Ranma a few times  
about her impending visit with Akane in the dark--  
insinuating that Ranma and Akane were doing naughty things  
when they were all alone. Ranma had thought it was a little  
sickening, but it didn't really bother her. Nabiki had to  
stop, though, when it seemed that Kasumi was about to get  
really upset over the idea.  
  
Nabiki was somewhat alarmed when Ranma insisted that, since  
Nabiki was suspicious of their doings, she would just have  
to take care of matters, herself. It was an unusual move  
for Ranma, and suggested to Nabiki an unusual cleverness in  
Ranma. Ranma wasn't serious, of course, much to Nabiki's  
relief.  
  
In fact, Ranma was becoming a little possessive of these  
private moments with Akane. It was disturbing, but Ranma  
couldn't explain it. Part of the problem lay in solving the  
underlying mystery.  
  
When Ranma arrived at Akane's room--and after the usual  
nightly flinch of ever-growing disgust--she immediately  
demanded to know what Akane looked like, tried the light,  
and immediately regretted it.  
  
Scattered all over the floor were scraps of paper and  
clothing, dishes and chopsticks, and all manner of cords,  
thread, and broken pieces of wood. For several moments, all  
Ranma could do was stare in wonder at all the junk that had  
been left all over Akane's room--and she briefly marveled  
that she had never tripped over it, all the previous nights  
that she had come there.  
  
When she looked at Akane, however, Ranma saw something that  
completely startled her. For a brief moment, Ranma thought  
Akane had turned into a human-sized cat, and Ranma had to  
suppress a residual urge to panic.  
  
"That's quite a reaction," Akane told her. "I thought you  
said you wanted to know."  
  
"Gyah," Ranma said, finally uncoiling from her shock. "I  
wasn't expecting this."  
  
Akane had become furry, and she had the ears, paws, and tail  
of a cat. It was understandable that Ranma would get that  
first impression.  
  
"Let me guess," Ranma said. "You were cursed by Mao Mo  
Lin."  
  
"Don't tell me you knew!" Akane said, sharply.  
  
"It just came to me," Ranma said, matter-of-factly.  
  
Just then, Ranma noticed that the others had appeared behind  
her, and she slammed the door shut.  
  
"You realize what this means?" Akane added.  
  
Ranma pondered for a moment, but then said--without any hint  
of thinking, "Another curse you have to break with a kiss?"  
  
"Uh huh," Akane replied. For a long moment, they seemed to  
be contemplating the side effects of an intentional  
collision between human mouths, and comparing such a thing  
to insects intentionally striking the windshield of a  
speeding car.  
  
Clearly, at this moment, Ranma was of two minds. Part of  
her said, "So what? It's just a kiss. Get over it."  
Another part of her said, "Hold on, a sec! This isn't  
something you just leap into!" What was perhaps more  
astonishing was that she couldn't sense her alternate  
personality in any of this. Ranma had no awareness of  
having said anything about breaking a curse with a kiss, yet  
she was aware of the effects of *someone* forcing her into  
making this decision. "Whoa!" Ranma said, clenching her  
head.  
  
"Let me get something straight," Ranma continued. "When  
exactly is this supposed to be complete?"  
  
Akane took a deep breath and said, "The full moon." Ranma  
then dashed to the window and looked out. "Hey!" Akane  
said, a little outraged to be ignored. "Ranma--!"  
  
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief and leaped out the window.  
She then called upward, "I'll be back before then!"  
  
"You jerk!" Akane screamed. "Get back up here! I wasn't  
finished!" Her voice had just started to echo into the  
darkness when Ranma was gone.  
  
Just then, Shampoo appeared--just out of sight of Ranma--and  
she smiled at Akane. Akane was as sensitive as always, and  
she recognized in that smile that Shampoo was telling Akane  
that she had known all along about the curse--and had even  
instigated it--and that Akane may have thought she had the  
upper hand, but Shampoo believed the situation would soon  
change.  
  
So, when Shampoo carefully chased after Ranma as Akane  
watched from her room, Akane clenched her furry paw and  
vowed, "You haven't won yet, Shampoo!"  
  
Akane then caught her reflection from the window and  
flinched in brief disgust at herself.  
  
***  
  
By now, all this odd behavior had become the norm for Ranma  
and the others. In fact, Soun Tendo had become so  
accustomed to spying on Ranma and Akane, that the only thing  
he could remark as he stood in the hallway outside Akane's  
door was, "Hang in there, Akane!"  
  
Nabiki rolled her eyes as Kasumi muttered, "Oh my..." Genma  
put a hand on Soun's shoulder and said, "You know, Tendo. I  
think Ranma's starting to come around."  
  
"Too bad he's stuck in girl-form," Nabiki added.  
  
"Isn't the full moon tomorrow?" Kasumi asked.  
  
As the others wandered off, Kasumi began to wonder, and she  
went to her room in search of a good almanac.  
  
***  
  
Ranma soon returned to the Cat temple, thinking that Mao Mo  
Lin had foolishly remained in his tangible form, or that the  
giant monster cat could somehow be persuaded to confront  
her. When Ranma arrived, she realized she was full of ideas  
on how to extract information on beating curses, but she  
hadn't given any thought to how she was going to find the  
cat to begin with.  
  
Thus, alone in the dark of the temple grounds--aside from a  
few dozen alley cats--Ranma sat and began thinking about how  
to draw Mao Mo Lin out of wherever he was hiding.  
  
Just about the time she was thinking of heading out to the  
Cat Cafe, Shampoo saved her the trouble and appeared.  
"Ranma no find big cat, here," she said.  
  
Ranma, who still had no idea that Shampoo was involved,  
said, "Shoot! I really needed to knock some sense into him,  
too."  
  
"Already knock sense out of cat," Shampoo told her. "Ranma  
no get curse off Akane, anyway."  
  
"What'd you say?" Ranma asked, becoming annoyed at the way  
Shampoo was smirking.  
  
Shampoo walked up to Ranma and stood next to her as she  
said, "Mao Mo Lin just crazy bell monster. He no take curse  
off for no reason, and no even you take curse off."  
  
This whole conversation already had a surreal quality to it  
without Shampoo having trouble using proper grammar. Trying  
to follow what Shampoo was saying was beginning to take its  
toll on Ranma's overworked psyche, and Ranma said, "Huh?"  
  
"You want Akane become cat?" Shampoo asked.  
  
"No," Ranma replied. "Of course not."  
  
"Curse is beat by kiss of man who victim love," Shampoo  
supplied. "If no man love or if love no is man, no is  
beating curse."  
  
Ranma could nearly always follow what Shampoo had told her  
before. Now, it just seemed all jumbled up. "If who does  
what?" she asked.  
  
Shampoo glared at Ranma for a moment. "Girl-being make  
Ranma stupid?"  
  
Ranma frowned and folded her arms.  
  
Shampoo sighed and explained, "You no beat curse."  
  
"I can't?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You no can do it."  
  
"You just said that. But what I'm asking is--"  
  
Shampoo groaned and punched Ranma in the head. "I just say  
you! You no can! You no is man, and Akane no love anyway."  
  
"Hmmm..." Ranma said. Ranma rubbed her chin and thought, as  
Shampoo folded her arms and narrowed her gaze at Ranma. At  
last, Ranma hit her palm in realization and said, "I got  
it!"  
  
Shampoo smiled and said, "Now see?"  
  
Ranma thought for another moment and said, "Wait. No... I  
forgot. Why can't I beat the curse?"  
  
***  
  
Ranma became lost in thought for several hours, sitting  
there at the Cat temple. She found herself petting a cat as  
she suddenly realized what Shampoo had given up trying to  
tell her.  
  
In an instant, Ranma said, "Of course! I'm a girl, so the  
curse wouldn't break for me, anyway!"  
  
Ranma then punched herself in the head, also realizing how  
long it had taken her to figure that out.  
  
Just as she was starting to feel pity toward Shampoo for  
having had to explain it all in vain, Ranma also suddenly  
realized that Shampoo had been the one who had facilitated  
the curse.  
  
With Akane out of the way--most likely, married to the cat  
monster--Shampoo would be free to date with Ranma. Shampoo  
would ignore the fact that Ranma had already developed  
feelings (in a way) for Akane, and that even if Akane was  
out of the picture, Ukyo was a somewhat more pleasant person  
to date than Shampoo.  
  
***  
  
By midnight, Ranma had brought Akane back with her to the  
Cat temple. Just as she suspected, Akane changed back to  
her usual self the moment they entered the temple grounds.  
They also had another moment when Mao Mo Lin appeared, but  
Ranma and Akane both beat the stuffing out of him until he  
vanished again.  
  
"All right, Ranma," Akane started. "What is this plan of  
yours?"  
  
Right on cue, Dr. Tofu showed up, giving Akane a really good  
start.  
  
"Dr. Tofu?" Akane said. "What is he doing here?"  
  
"I sent for him," Ranma explained, "to break the curse."  
  
Akane punched Ranma in the head and said, grimly, "What the  
hell did you do that for, huh? You don't expect me to kiss  
him, do you?"  
  
"Ow!" Ranma said, rubbing her head. "Well, I didn't have a  
whole lot of choice! I ain't a man, you know! Maybe you'd  
rather kiss Kuno!"  
  
Dr. Tofu approached them and cleared his throat, saying,  
"Excuse me, but I was told that someone out here needed  
medical attention..."  
  
"Maybe I would," Akane said to Ranma.  
  
Ranma went to Dr. Tofu and said, "Yeah, Dr. Tofu. It's  
Akane. I think she's got something in her eye."  
  
"Uh huh..." Dr. Tofu mused. "You called me out here in the  
middle of the night to look at Akane's eye?"  
  
Akane put her face in her hand, mortified.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Ranma said, gesturing in an annoyed but  
reassuring way to Akane. "It's small, but it doesn't seem  
to want to come out."  
  
"I guess I can have a look," Dr. Tofu muttered.  
  
As Tofu opened a small bag he was carrying with him, Ranma  
went to Akane and whispered, "It ain't gotta mean nothin',  
Akane. I figure you just need an actual guy to break the  
curse. Just kiss 'em an' get it over with."  
  
"Fine, fine, fine..." Akane mumbled, still plenty mortified.  
Ranma tried to sneak away, but Akane grabbed her by the arm  
and whispered, piercingly, "This is a rotten thing to do,  
and whatever happens is your fault!"  
  
Just as Ranma planned, Dr. Tofu stood over Akane, looking  
into her eyes. "Which one?" Tofu asked her, and Akane  
answered by pointing out her right eye.  
  
Ranma made a "V" with her fingers and mentally patted  
herself on the back. "I am so clever," she told herself.  
  
Akane, who had seen some of that, rolled her eyes and nearly  
forgot what she was doing.  
  
"I don't see anything," Dr. Tofu said, reaching for his  
light. "Just a sec..." He took his light and shined it  
directly into Akane's eye, making a pretty thorough search.  
  
Ranma cringed in anticipation. Akane had always been  
reluctant about doing anything that might seem girlish, and  
her youthful crush on Dr. Tofu had become more of an  
irritation to her, lately. Still, Ranma felt certain that  
some of the old magic must still remain, and she was very  
surprised when several long moments passed without anything  
more happening except Dr. Tofu muttering about not finding  
anything.  
  
Dr. Tofu was ready to give up, but Ranma insisted that he  
try again--giving Akane an evil glare in the process--but,  
no matter how much Akane might have felt tempted to kiss  
him, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Akane even  
shoved Tofu away at one particularly close moment.  
  
"Oh, are you all right?" Tofu asked. "I didn't hurt  
anything, did I?"  
  
"No," Akane answered. "I'm fine." Akane then returned the  
glare back at Ranma for a moment, then added, "I think it's  
gone."  
  
"That's a relief," Tofu said. "For a moment there, I was  
certain you were trying to kiss me."  
  
***  
  
Ranma escorted Akane home, even when she returned to her  
half-cat appearance outside the temple grounds. Although  
Ranma walked beside her, Akane didn't say a word, the whole  
way home. Akane only frowned and muttered to herself the  
entire time.  
  
At the entrance, Ranma was just about to climb the stairs to  
her room when Akane said, rather loudly, "Ranma! You are a  
complete idiot! What made you come up with such a stupid  
idea!?"  
  
And, instead of waiting for an answer, Akane stomped her way  
up the stairs past Ranma--slamming her door shut as she  
entered her room.  
  
Ranma was still a little stunned by Akane's insult, and took  
a moment to collect herself, then started becoming angry.  
"Why that macho tomboy! How dare she!? It was a great  
idea! She's the one that screwed it up!"  
  
At the top of the stairs, Ranma was so intent on her fuming  
that she nearly tripped over Kasumi--who had suddenly  
appeared in the hallway.  
  
"Ah!" Ranma said, flinging herself to the side to avoid  
hitting Kasumi. "Excuse me!"  
  
"Oh, Ranma," Kasumi said. "Is Akane back? I forgot to tell  
her something."  
  
"Yeah," Ranma replied. "She's back, all right. She brought  
her attitude with her, too."  
  
"Oh my," Kasumi stated. "This could really be a problem."  
  
As Ranma watched in growing amazement, Kasumi went to  
Akane's door and knocked.  
  
"Go away, you jerk!" came Akane's voice from inside. Kasumi  
opened the door and said, "Akane, I really need to tell you  
something..."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Kasumi!" Akane said.  
  
"You see," Kasumi said, "It's about the full moon.  
Actually..."  
  
Just then Shampoo appeared and said, "Moon full tonight!"  
  
Akane rushed out into the hallway and said, "Tonight?!"  
  
As Akane stood frozen in shock, Shampoo was overcome by the  
giggles and began pointing at Akane. "Akane is real cat-  
girl!"  
  
Akane's face--which had become somewhat haggard from not  
eating or properly training--was smeared with tears. Now  
that Akane had become furry, it was pretty obvious how she  
felt, because the tracks of her tears left dark, ugly lines  
under her eyes where the fur had become moist.  
  
Ranma had been moments away from chewing out Akane, and now  
she felt more pity for Akane than ever. Looking at her now,  
the impression of Akane being a large cat was unmistakable.  
If Ranma had left herself in control, there could be little  
doubt that she would have fled in terror.  
  
Kasumi, who had merely been trying to be helpful, added,  
"Actually, the full moon is in precisely two minutes."  
  
"You be bride of cat monster!" Shampoo added, "And Ranma now  
mine!"  
  
Akane, hearing the mockery from Shampoo and seeing the pity  
in Ranma's eyes, was hit by a double-dose of shock. There  
was a long, agonizing moment when she was sorely tempted to  
start growling and pound Ranma through the roof. She might  
have done this, and even Kasumi might have said it was for  
the best--this had become the worst humiliation yet for  
Akane, and Ranma might never learn, otherwise.  
  
When she looked again at Ranma's eyes, Akane was impressed  
by the notion that she wasn't really looking at Ranma, but  
at someone far more devious and insightful. She saw pity,  
but she also began to see real sympathy, as well. This  
wasn't a new thing for Ranma, though, and it puzzled Akane  
for a moment until she realized that Ranma nearly always  
seemed to be suffering some humiliation--either something  
Akane had inflicted or something she had done little to  
prevent.  
  
And then, seemingly triggered by this realization, memories  
of Ranma began to swarm in her mind. There were a great  
many foolish things Ranma had said, to be sure, and Akane  
remembered Ranma's hasty apologies. What was surprising to  
her was that Akane herself had said many more foolish things  
to Ranma and had apologized many more times--and in a way  
that seemed even more childish than any of Ranma's. Akane  
even began to realize that many of the situations were her  
own fault--going back even to the day they had met (for  
which Akane had neither apologized insincerely nor had even  
felt guilty about).  
  
But these were the kind of thoughts one has when one is  
expecting to part from someone forever, and Akane realized  
above everything else that she could bear anything but that.  
The weight of this realization sent her to her knees, where  
she wept and could hardly be expected to hear any  
consolation.  
  
Even Shampoo was a little astonished to see this reaction.  
Kasumi immediately went to Akane and hugged her, saying,  
"It's all right, Akane. We'll still love you, even if you  
are a cat for the rest of your life."  
  
"That's not it," Akane tried to say, but her sobs were  
robbing her of breath.  
  
Ranma helped Akane get up, and Kasumi was surprised to see  
that Ranma had somehow changed back to male. "Ranma,"  
Kasumi started. "How the heck--?"  
  
In his mind, however, Ranma could only imagine how Ryoga  
would react to all this, and it made his stomach churn. No  
matter how uncute or how brutal Akane could be, she didn't  
deserve to suffer like this.  
  
Shampoo could only watch in helpless shock as Ranma helped  
Akane stand again and kissed her, just as it seemed Akane  
was about to transform for good.  



	3. Straight From the Horse's Mouth

  
  
Part 3: Straight From the Horse's Mouth  
  
  
So, now the mystery of how Ranma and Akane had felt seemed  
to be laid to rest, and it seemed to Soun Tendo and Genma  
Saotome that it would be best for them to leave Ranma and  
Akane alone--allowing their children to sort out whatever  
differences may have remained.  
  
There certainly didn't appear to be anything out of the  
ordinary to their parents, and whatever wasn't ideal would  
surely never stand in the way of their impending marriage  
plans.  
  
Nevertheless, Soun and Genma continued to pester Ranma and  
Akane every moment of every day that they could--asking them  
about how things were going, remarking on how nice it was  
that they were getting along, telling them that it was good  
for them to be totally honest with each other, etc.  
  
Thus, it was no real surprise to anyone that Akane began to  
avoid her father. The real shock was that Ranma not only  
withstood the constant annoyances, but he even encouraged  
them to the point of making them weary of his enthusiasm.  
  
Ranma had always prided himself on his friendliness. What  
was odd were the number of people who now agreed with him.  
  
The mystery of how Ranma came to have changed so much was  
also a favorite topic for conversation. Some said that  
Ranma looked different in some subtle way. Some said that  
Akane had finally pounded some sense into Ranma. Some even  
said that Shampoo had used another magical charm on Ranma.  
  
Along with stories of Ranma's new personality, Ranma also  
encouraged people to think that he was peacefully content  
with his engagement to Akane, and that nothing in the world  
would ever change his mind about marrying her one day.  
  
A few people he spoke to would smile delightedly and  
compliment him on his new-found resolve and excellent taste  
in women--Akane had always been admired among Ranma's  
classmates. Most other people, however, would smile  
humoringly--thinking that Ranma was surely up to something  
devious. Among the students of Furinkan high school, rumors  
began to spread again about Ranma seeing a girl or two on  
the side.  
  
Tatewaki Kuno--a long time devotee of Akane--despised the  
rumors (because he viewed them as an insult to Akane), but  
came to find himself starting to believe them, anyway.  
Whenever Kuno confronted Ranma, however, he found himself  
unable to show anger toward Ranma.  
  
What was even more disturbing to Kuno was that he began to  
feel himself strangely drawn to Ranma. Kuno had always  
despised the thought of being affectionate with men, and he  
therefore began to engage in a healthy dose of "discipline"  
(which his sister began to affectionately refer to as  
"masochism training").  
  
Kodachi, who had always taken delight in seeing Ranma, was  
now thrilled whenever she spoke with Ranma. Ranma had  
always seemed a little shy to her before, and now he seemed  
very relaxed and matter-of-fact. Kodachi spent a few days  
recovering from her happiness at Ranma's transformation.  
  
There was one particular afternoon when Tatewaki Kuno's  
irritation at himself began to overflow so much that he  
actually found Ranma and lashed out at him.  
  
Ranma had been strolling toward the entrance of the school  
grounds, hardly seeming to have a care in the world, as Kuno  
approached and cut off Ranma's path with his practice sword.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" Kuno growled.  
  
Ranma took a moment to look around and casually said,  
"Home."  
  
"To Akane's home, you mean!" Kuno accused him.  
  
"Right," Ranma agreed. "That's where I live." Ranma looked  
at the sword and back at Kuno and asked, "Do you mind?"  
  
"I think not!" Kuno said, keeping his brandished sword fixed  
in Ranma's path. "I cannot allow this fiendish situation to  
continue!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You think you can seduce the fair, pure-hearted Akane with  
nothing more than your presence and some ridiculous charade  
of pretending to be a man!? I urge you to think again!"  
  
"Seduce? Who said anything about seducing?"  
  
"I did!" Kuno insisted, getting in Ranma's face. Kuno  
lowered his sword and said, "You think Akane is charmed by  
all this show of nonchalant strutting? It will avail you  
nothing! I shall tear away that mask--!"  
  
Ranma started to casually walk away.  
  
"I wasn't finished!" Kuno blared.  
  
"We can talk on the way," Ranma said, gesturing his offer.  
  
Kuno stepped in front of Ranma and waved his hand at Ranma--  
warding him from going any further. "We have nothing to  
discuss, and furthermore we--!"  
  
"Okay," Ranma said, casually walking away again.  
  
"I'm talkin' here!" Kuno exclaimed.  
  
If Ranma reacted, he showed no sign of it, but simply waved  
to a few friends as he left the school grounds.  
  
Kuno was never more upset, but the thought of having to  
speak to Ranma bothered him so much that he screamed, "Curse  
you, Ranma! You are not a man! I don't care what I have to  
do, but I shall prove it!"  
  
Some girls who happened to be walking by began giggling, and  
Kuno wondered what it meant until hearing a rumor the next  
day that he was desperate to see Ranma naked.  
  
***  
  
Akane, who had once seen Ranma naked, was only desperate to  
recover her dignity and make her room the spotless shrine to  
neatness it had once been. And now that she had found  
something like karmic release, she found herself becoming  
even more of a neat freak than ever.  
  
She was also slightly annoyed that merely chopping wood with  
her hands had not kept her in shape, and she was now jogging  
three times a day.  
  
In school, people noticed that she pushed herself a little  
harder at physical education than usual, yet she always  
seemed strangely calm and relaxed. This, naturally, lead to  
a few rather annoying rumors that she and Ranma were  
sleeping together.  
  
Akane would furiously deny any such rumors while secretly  
wishing Ranma would sleep with her, then would suddenly spot  
him and become embarrassed at her own thoughts--which  
invariably made her focus harder on training.  
  
Ranma, himself, wasn't embarrassed about Akane anymore, and  
he found it strange that he once thought of Akane as uncute.  
It was a little disorienting, but he began to think of Akane  
as a calm and gentle person with a very big heart.  
  
And Ranma avoided intimate contact with her because he was  
reluctant to shatter this image of her that had suddenly  
appeared in his mind. All he knew was that it made Akane  
seem extremely attractive to him, and he wanted to preserve  
her that way as long as humanly possible.  
  
***  
  
Another extremely attractive girl, Ukyo, began noticing all  
this odd behavior in Ranma. Ukyo was grimly amused at the  
bovine stupidity girls displayed whenever discussing Ranma,  
and terribly curious to hear Nabiki's reaction. Nabiki had  
always proved somewhat insightful, but her reticence had  
become more pronounced, lately. Ukyo didn't know what to  
make of it, but she was determined to find out.  
  
Ukyo, like Nabiki, was also not above using a little  
dishonesty.  
  
***  
  
Late one day, Akane was helping Kasumi in the kitchen and  
becoming particularly frustrated at her lack of success.  
Kasumi had started out convinced that she could show Akane  
that all that was required was a little more practice, and  
to compare the art of cooking with many of the martial arts  
disciplines she noticed Akane had mastered. Instead, Kasumi  
was stunned at having to witness time after time how Akane  
was simply unable to do the most basic things--like tasting  
the food, making sure you follow the heating and timing  
instructions, and using just the right amounts of the right  
ingredients.  
  
Kasumi actually became very irritated, and it took her a  
great effort of will to merely escort Akane from the kitchen  
without slapping her.  
  
An hour later than she had intended, Kasumi had finished  
cooking. Fortunately, she had left herself an hour to  
spare, and so there was no time to waste on giving Akane  
unnecessary warnings and making sure that Akane would be on  
her toes.  
  
The important part--making sure the food was hot and ready--  
had been completed, so Kasumi breathed a huge sigh of  
relief. She then grabbed her luggage and immediately left,  
waving goodbye to Akane as she went out the entrance.  
  
***  
  
Ranma had become lost in doing schoolwork and in pondering  
the great mystery of what hairstyle made him look best, when  
he realized that he was hungry.  
  
When he arrived at dinner, he was surprised to notice that  
he was alone with Akane, and he was shocked to discover that  
although Akane was serving him food, it was food he could  
reasonably expect to survive eating. In fact, the food was  
so good that he immediately realized that Kasumi was the  
only one who could have made it.  
  
Ranma was also relieved to discover that there was still one  
thing that terrified him beyond reason--the prospect having  
to consume one of Akane's meals. Instead of saying so,  
however, Ranma only smiled and thanked Akane.  
  
"Actually," Akane admitted with a blush, "Kasumi is the one  
who made this."  
  
"Oh," Ranma said, trying hard not to show that he already  
knew. "Is Kasumi here?"  
  
Akane cleared her throat and said, "Well, actually, I did  
help a little bit with the food."  
  
"Is Kasumi here?" Ranma asked again in the same friendly  
tone of voice.  
  
"Well," Akane said, sighing, "the truth is, I don't think  
Kasumi actually used any of what I cooked..."  
  
"So..." Ranma said, then after a pause, asked, "Is Kasumi  
here?"  
  
Akane turned and faced the television, deciding to switch  
the channel, suddenly. "I wonder what's on..." she  
pondered.  
  
Ranma softly chuckled and said, "I get the feeling we're all  
alone again."  
  
Ranma looked at his food, finished it in a few bites and  
then sat next to Akane, watching the TV. He did this in  
such a casual way, however, that for several minutes, Akane  
hardly noticed.  
  
The program was somewhat schizophrenic. One moment, it was  
a dramatic romance, the next moment there would be long  
fighting scenes and chases followed by explosions, the next  
moment there would be goofy slapstick and bad gags.  
Normally, Akane was torn between a love for horror and a  
secret penchant for game shows, but now she became  
enraptured in watching something that was surely a  
producer's worst nightmare.  
  
Ranma usually preferred reading to watching TV, and working  
out to reading, but he was more curious about what Akane was  
thinking. "You don't have your weapons handy, you know," he  
told her.  
  
"I know," Akane said.  
  
"And we are alone, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
The program paused for a commercial break, and suddenly  
there was dead air--a black screen and complete silence.  
  
"Aren't you afraid I might try something?" Ranma said, after  
a few seconds.  
  
Akane turned to him and asked, "Like what?"  
  
Ranma continued to look serious for a few moments, then  
started laughing, just as the TV returned to its usual  
blather of mindless advertising.  
  
Akane frowned and gave him a look of dire import, then  
quickly turned back to the TV.  
  
Ranma wasn't sure for a moment, then inexplicably recognized  
that look and shivered with apprehension. He then cleared  
his throat nervously and said, "I spoke with Ukyo today."  
  
"What'd she have to say?"  
  
"Nothing much," Ranma said, thinking for a moment. "Just  
how the business was going, for the most part."  
  
"You liar," Akane said.  
  
Ranma smiled and said, "No, really. I think Ukyo was just  
being polite."  
  
"I think Ukyo should mind her own business," Akane quipped.  
  
"Akane..."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well... It isn't nice to be jealous, you know?"  
  
For a moment, Akane smiled in a way that reminded Ranma of  
how Nabiki would smile--somewhat devil-may-care--and Ranma  
started to sense that this whole situation was somehow  
staged.  
  
"Akane," he started again.  
  
"What is it?" she asked.  
  
"Am I just imagining it, or are you coming on to me?"  
  
Akane was a little stunned. Normally, whenever fielding a  
question like that, Akane would counter it by grabbing the  
nearest blunt object and bashing Ranma over the head with  
it--usually giving him a stern criticism in the process.  
Now, it seemed to her that he could actually see what she  
was thinking, and she was rather mortified to have been so  
transparent. Then she realized that it was true and became  
somewhat more mortified by the mere fact of what she'd been  
doing.  
  
Though his question and the manner in which he'd asked it  
were like icy water thrown in her face, Akane suddenly found  
herself staring at Ranma, willing herself to be calm in  
spite of wanting to bite him really hard.  
  
Ranma, nervous and apprehensive in a way he'd never  
experienced before in his life, could only watch helplessly  
as the two of them had several moments when it seemed like  
there was an unspoken invitation in the air. Several times,  
Ranma had felt an urge to grab Akane by the arms and throw  
himself all over her, but he'd also fought it--knowing  
somehow that he'd never see her the same way again,  
afterward.  
  
The feeling passed, and Ranma was a little relieved when  
Akane said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Ranma."  
Akane then laughed nervously and said, "Me? Come on to  
you?"  
  
Ranma flinched in surprise, noticing that Ukyo was sitting  
next to him. He hadn't been aware of when she had come in.  
  
"I agree," Ukyo said. "It's ridiculous."  
  
Ranma and Akane were recovering from the intense shock of  
suddenly finding Ukyo sitting next to them as Ukyo smoothly  
continued laughing and nudged Ranma in a playfully  
sympathetic way.  
  
"Now, Ranma here," Ukyo continued. "Woo! That's a whole  
other story. You should have seen him, today."  
  
"What?" Akane asked, immediately curious.  
  
"Well..." Ukyo started, looking at Ranma slyly and leaning  
around to whisper something to Akane. For several seconds,  
Ukyo whispered to Akane as Akane became redder with shame or  
anger (or perhaps both). Ukyo then laughed delightedly as  
Akane glared at Ranma, and Ranma scowled in innocent  
confusion.  
  
Akane then slapped Ranma and exclaimed, "You jerk!"  
  
"What!?" Ranma asked, rubbing his face. "What was that  
for?!"  
  
"Oh, come on, Ranma," Ukyo nudged him again. She then  
winked at him as she said, "You know what that's for."  
  
Akane fumed for a few moments and then said, "I can't  
believe you! Flirting! And right in front of Ukyo, too!"  
  
"Whoa," Ranma said, trying to make some sense of this  
conversation. "I did what?"  
  
"Now, Ranma," Ukyo told him. "Don't try to deny it. I was  
right there. You kept going on about how much more manly  
you've become. Everyone in the shop could hear you. I  
wouldn't be surprised if everyone in town is talking about  
it."  
  
Ranma took a moment to consider, and he found that it was an  
unmistakably slanderous thing to say. Ranma had,  
historically, been fond of describing himself, but only in  
serious situations where it was his self-esteem at stake.  
  
Had Ranma been a clever person, he might have found a way to  
blunt Ukyo's foray, but Ranma was still thinking defensively  
as he said, "But I really didn't..."  
  
"You mean," Akane said, "you weren't going on about  
yourself? So, you were kissing up to her?"  
  
"No, I mean I wasn't--" Ranma tried to say, as Akane  
interrupted him.  
  
"Ranma, that is so pathetic!" Akane said. "I've seen you do  
some low things before, but this is the lowest!"  
  
"What?" Ukyo said, assuming a defensive position between  
Akane and Ranma. "I thought it was kinda cute. I'd never  
actually seen Ranma flirting with a girl before."  
  
Ranma at last realized something that had been fighting for  
attention in his mind. Why was Ukyo so insistent? If it  
was a joke, she had definitely gone too far. Ranma decided  
to try and get to the bottom of this, and he said, "Very  
funny, Ucchan."  
  
"Huh?" Ukyo said, flustered for barely a moment, "Hey, I'm  
serious. You know I wouldn't joke about something like  
this."  
  
"Really?" Ranma said, trying to sound just a bit skeptical.  
  
Akane had been thinking that Ranma was relapsing into his  
normal routine, and now it seemed to her that Ukyo's story  
seemed a little too convenient. Akane frowned as she  
considered this, and Ukyo immediately picked up on what  
Akane was thinking.  
  
"Really," Ukyo insisted. "I'll bet you were putting the  
moves on Akane before I showed up."  
  
"No way," Ranma reacted, then immediately regretted falling  
for such an obvious ploy.  
  
Akane had always had a strange imagination, so she promptly  
said, "Ranma accused me of being jealous."  
  
Now Ranma was nearly becoming upset, but his common sense  
had fully kicked in, and he said, "Well, now I'm accusing  
Ukyo of being jealous."  
  
"Oh," Ukyo said, "are you making a move on me?"  
  
Akane turned to Ukyo and said, "Ukyo, would please just shut  
up for a moment?" Akane then asked Ranma, "Okay, Ranma.  
Just level with me..."  
  
"It's not true," Ranma said. "I wasn't flirting with  
anyone."  
  
Akane continued glaring at Ranma for a few moments, then  
shifted her eyes to Ukyo. "Ukyo, what is your problem?"  
  
"What? You don't believe me?" Ukyo asked her.  
  
"Why should I?" Akane asked.  
  
"Because it's the truth," Ukyo stated flatly.  
  
"Maybe I should ask around," Akane said.  
  
"You do that," Ukyo said, knowing full well that it was  
already one of several rumors, anyway.  
  
Akane felt that the impasse had settled on her, so she  
simply blew it off the way she would normally, saying,  
"Well, I don't care even if it is true. Ranma can flirt  
with whoever he likes."  
  
With that, Ukyo seemed satisfied and she politely turned and  
left.  
  
Ranma and Akane were, of course, fully aware of what Ukyo  
had done, and it might have seemed best for them to simply  
ignore her. Instead, Ranma found himself marvelling at  
Ukyo's audacity, and Akane was merely shocked that she had  
believed anything Ukyo had said. Suffice it to say that  
Ukyo had totally ruined the mood, and there wasn't a chance  
that anything even remotely romantic was going to happen  
that night.  
  
***  
  
That night, Ukyo had a visitor.  
  
Nodoka Saotome--Ranma's mother--normally went from place to  
place in search of cooking tips or historical trinkets of  
the Saotome family whenever she wasn't house-hunting. Quite  
often, she would find herself spending many hours listening  
to the tales of those to whom she had found herself  
referred. It wasn't unusual for her to have to spend the  
night at an unfamiliar house or apartment.  
  
In fact, she hadn't seen Ranma in several weeks, and she was  
starting to worry. She knew that Ranma was in good hands,  
and she felt deeply that Ranma himself was strong and  
independent. Still, she couldn't shake the notion that  
Ranma might need a mother's tender attention.  
  
Nodoka was going by Ucchan's, and she initially thought  
about passing by, but then she became curious. Ranma and  
the others had told her about Ukyo, but there were so many  
questions that Nodoka was anxious to ask her.  
  
When Nodoka knocked at the door, there wasn't any response,  
so she tried the door, and to her surprise it slid right  
open. Nodoka reacted in alarm--thinking that leaving the  
door open was simply inviting trouble to come in--and she  
entered cautiously.  
  
Meanwhile, Ukyo had been upstairs muttering to herself--or  
rather, since Konatsu Kunoichi was likely lurking in the  
shadows somewhere, she was speaking to him. In any case,  
Ukyo felt alone with her thoughts and there was plenty for  
her to think about. She didn't seem to care whether anyone  
thought she was talking to herself. What was worse, she  
began to realize that Ranma didn't seem to care, either.  
  
"Ranma, you pathetic jerk," she muttered. "How can you be  
so incredibly stupid? I can't believe just how massively  
stupid you can be. What a complete and total idiot..."  
  
Ukyo only really had one particular theme on her mind.  
  
"I guess that must make me the world's stupidest woman," she  
added, thoughtfully. "Someone with brains might have  
noticed what a fool they were being made of. Or could I be  
wrong?"  
  
It certainly did seem to her that Ranma was slipping away.  
Ranma's odd behavior seemed to signify a sudden change, and  
what change could have come over him greater than some  
involvement with Akane? It didn't follow with what she had  
witnessed at the Tendo's, but something was telling her that  
she needed to do something drastic, and quickly.  
  
As she was stewing over this thought in her mind, and had  
gotten up from bed for the third time in the past hour,  
Ukyo noticed an intruder as she started down the stairs.  
She almost gave herself away with a gasp, and then she  
carefully continued down into her shop.  
  
The intruder was swift and silent as a mouse and extremely  
light on her feet in spite of seeming nothing out of the  
ordinary. Ukyo noticed with irritation that this intruder  
could have stolen any number of items from her shop by now,  
and Ukyo was about to ask who it was when the intruder said,  
"Ukyo!? Hello?"  
  
Ukyo repressed an urge to shriek in surprise, and when she  
calmed herself, she answered, "Hello."  
  
The intruder, who of course was Nodoka, turned and smiled,  
saying, "Oh, there you are. I'm sorry, but the door was  
open so I let myself in. I hope you don't mind."  
  
By now, Ukyo was starting to remember who this woman was,  
and then all at once it came to her. This was the woman who  
seemed to like Akane so much and wanted nothing more for her  
son than for him to marry Akane. Ukyo then remembered with  
some embarrassment that she had helped destroy Nodoka's old  
house.  
  
Ukyo was relieved that all Nodoka wanted was to sit and have  
a conversation over a cup of tea with her.  
  
To be sure, Nodoka was not a pleasant person for Ukyo to  
talk to, but Ukyo had become bored and a little lonely.  
Maybe speaking with the mother would endear her to Ranma,  
after all. Ukyo had only seen Ranma refer to his mother  
once, and it had been in a quiet and reverent tone of voice.  
  
After a short time, Ukyo noticed that Nodoka was not  
inclined to turn down an offer of sake, though she would not  
allow Ukyo to touch it in her presence and wondered out loud  
what Ukyo had been doing with it in the first place.  
  
And though Nodoka drank and drank, there did not seem to be  
any change in her mood or in the subjects she was willing to  
discuss. Nodoka seemed to have a wealth of priceless  
secrets regarding cooking lore, where to find special items  
of clothing, and forbidden stories of particular warrior  
clans.  
  
Ukyo kept a tight lip about her past, offering few details  
other than the fact that she had been betrothed to Ranma at  
one point, but that, "things just didn't work out." She had  
toyed with notion of attempting to win Nodoka's confidence,  
but Ukyo knew that it would backfire if she pressed Ranma to  
make a sudden choice.  
  
Ukyo was also aware of how Ranma viewed her and she wanted  
Ranma to maintain some respect for her as long as possible.  
  
Nodoka asked her how things had gone for her before setting  
up shop, but Ukyo glossed over it with as few details as  
possible. Ukyo wasn't ashamed of her past, but she knew  
that there was nothing romantic about having to go live with  
her grandparents, either.  
  
Before either one was aware of it, the nighttime had fully  
settled, and Ukyo invited her to stay over. Nodoka was  
pleasant about it and did not object too strongly, so Ukyo  
felt that she had succeeded in taking this first step--  
winning over Nodoka's trust. Nodoka was still a little  
upset about the door having been unlocked, but no one was  
perfect, after all.  
  
By the time Ukyo had gone to bed, she had resolved to make  
Nodoka's stay so pleasant that she would not help but  
return.  
  
***  
  
Now, Ukyo was normally as pleasant and amiable as a person  
could be whenever things were going well for her. That  
morning, Nodoka was surprised to notice that not only was  
Ukyo extremely easy-going, she fairly radiated confident  
well-being in her attitude.  
  
Ukyo herself, found that having an excuse to be nice and  
nearly as well-mannered as this woman made her feel much  
more secure. Though she had thought of a hundred defensive  
criticisms and counter-accusations, Ukyo found herself  
unable to say anything other than how beautiful the morning  
was and how fresh the air seemed--especially with the scent  
of breakfast to help fill the air.  
  
Ukyo was therefore a little disappointed that Nodoka felt  
the need to leave so quickly, but she thanked Ukyo for  
letting her stay and made it clear that she enjoyed herself.  
  
Then, just before she left, Nodoka made sure to sternly warn  
Ukyo not to touch any of the sake, and this put Ukyo in a  
bad mood all over again.  
  
***  
  
At the Tendo home, Kasumi and Nabiki had still not returned,  
but Soun and Nodoka were sitting at breakfast as Ranma  
stumbled in from having just awoken and Akane returned from  
jogging.  
  
It seemed Nodoka had found time to be invited over yesterday  
but had somehow gotten preoccupied on the way. By way of  
apology, she agreed to fix Ranma and Akane some nice lunches  
as Soun was heating up the breakfast Kasumi had made for  
them yesterday.  
  
At breakfast, Nodoka smilingly reported her visit with Ukyo  
and admitted that she felt very welcome there.  
  
Akane skeptically asked, "Really?"  
  
"Oh yes," Nodoka replied. "In fact, I'd really like for all  
of us to go to her shop this evening for supper. If it's  
not too forward of me, I think it would really help smooth  
things over between herself and your family, Akane."  
  
Ranma and Akane suddenly thought of what Ukyo had pulled  
just last night, and though Akane felt a headache coming on,  
Ranma began to think that his mother was probably right.  
Ranma said, "Hey, now that's a good idea."  
  
Ranma then looked at Akane and thought again, as Akane  
glared at him narrowly.  
  
"I mean," Ranma added, "Ukyo isn't going to go nuts and  
trash her own place, right?"  
  
Akane thought for a moment, smirked and said, "Yeah. That's  
right."  
  
Just then, Genma appeared (as a panda, since it was less  
complicated than dealing with his wife as a man), as Soun  
added, "And from what I've seen of her, Ukyo is someone who  
appreciates honesty."  
  
Akane rolled her eyes a bit, thinking how delicately her  
father had used the word "appreciates." Nodoka, who didn't  
seem to notice this subtlety, clapped her hands together in  
delight and said, "Good! I just know that Ukyo will  
appreciate our company. She seemed so tragic and helpless  
living all on her own."  
  
From her tone, it didn't seem possible that Nodoka might be  
upset, but Ranma and Akane were nevertheless wondering  
whether Nodoka hadn't heard some of Ukyo's tragic tale.  
Ranma then wondered whether they had ever bothered to fill  
her in on the details, then skipped the thought as Nodoka  
handed him and Akane their lunches and hurried them out the  
door toward school.  
  
On the way, Akane asked Ranma, "Ranma, have you told your  
mother about Ukyo?"  
  
"Well," he answered, "a little bit."  
  
"Does she know about...?"  
  
"I don't think so," Ranma answered.  
  
Just a glance between them was all they needed to convey the  
fact that they weren't comfortable with this idea and that  
they thought it was a horrible mistake, but they were going  
to go through with it anyway just to make his mother feel  
better, and that they were resolved to not breathe a word  
about Ukyo's tragic past--or any more than they absolutely  
needed to say.  
  
***  
  
As for the ugly turn of events that was to befall them that  
evening, Ranma and Akane had both felt it in their bones,  
and they both later said so, in that precise manner.  
  
So, it might be best to skip ahead to the events of that  
evening, and not bother mentioning how Ukyo had first taken  
the news of the impending Tendo visit gleefully, then had  
finally become bitter and resentful for some odd reason, and  
then had mysteriously burst into tears in the middle of  
serving a few customers. As has been stated, it was not  
going to be a trivial matter.  
  
But whatever Ukyo's mood the moment before their arrival,  
Ukyo's mood had elevated to mythical proportions when she  
saw them arrive, and Ukyo was even seemingly glad to welcome  
Akane and her father. Ranma and his parents joined, shortly  
behind them.  
  
A table had been prepared for them and the shop closed, and  
Ukyo cheerfully brought to their table a large dish that  
appeared to be a kind of meat loaf.  
  
Ranma and Genma were overjoyed at the smell, and they  
immediately announced their intentions and ate. Akane,  
overwhelmed by a brief vision inspired by Titus Andronicus,  
was a little more reluctant--thinking that perhaps Ukyo had  
butchered Nabiki and Kasumi, and had baked them into their  
meal.  
  
Akane then realized that reality was rarely as morbid as her  
imagination, and decided to enjoy her meal.  
  
For some time after they had eaten--or Ranma and Genma  
anyway, who had eaten quickly--they were at a loss for  
things to talk about. Ukyo sensed that Nodoka and Soun  
weren't about to start talking, so Ukyo started by asking  
them about whether the meal was pleasant and whether they  
wanted something more to drink than the tea she provided.  
  
After they were all finished and everyone except Nodoka  
seemed thoroughly awkward about having nothing more to  
discuss than the usual topics, Nodoka very formally thanked  
Ukyo for the meal and then stunned them all by saying that  
she believed Ukyo would make someone a very good wife  
someday.  
  
Nodoka then glanced around at all the amazed looks and  
gaping expressions and asked, "I'm sorry. Did I say  
something rude?"  
  
Ukyo was the first to say, "No! No! I'm very flattered.  
Really! I'm just glad you enjoyed it."  
  
"That's such a relief," Nodoka said. "I hate to offend  
people, you know."  
  
"I know," Ukyo said.  
  
"If you don't mind me saying so," Nodoka added, "you're very  
pretty, too. It's hard to imagine you having trouble  
finding a husband."  
  
For just a moment, Ukyo seemed to have a seriously annoyed  
expression which immediately softened into a reluctant  
smile.  
  
Nodoka, who had been watching Ukyo, said, "Oh, I'm sorry! I  
didn't mean to be rude!"  
  
"It's true, though," Ranma said.  
  
Genma and Soun glared at Ranma, but Ranma merely smiled very  
casually.  
  
"It is, isn't it?" Nodoka said. "No offense, Ukyo, but why  
in the world would you want to burden yourself with my son?  
You must have men lined up who would want to marry you."  
  
"Mrs. Saotome," Akane said, a warning note in her voice.  
  
"No," Nodoka told Akane, "I want to hear. I'm very  
curious." Nodoka turned to Ukyo and said, "Surely, you  
didn't take that betrothal you received ten years ago all  
that seriously."  
  
Ukyo, caught off-guard by that remark, scowled, and Akane  
rushed to say, "Maybe this is something we should talk about  
some other time, huh?"  
  
Ukyo then hurriedly said, "I don't, actually."  
  
Akane, who hadn't fully realized that Ukyo was responding to  
Nodoka's assertion was momentarily confused, and Ukyo used  
the interim to continue.  
  
"It's all water under the bridge," Ukyo added. "I say, let  
bygones be bygones."  
  
Genma, enormously relieved for that moment, cringed the next  
moment to hear his wife speaking again.  
  
"Is it, really?" Nodoka asked. "You sound to me like you've  
given it a lot of thought."  
  
For a few moments, there was complete silence. Soun was  
certainly not going to say a word, and neither was Genma.  
  
"I have," Ukyo then admitted. "And you know what? I'm  
glad. I don't want to think about it anymore. To tell you  
the truth, I'm completely over it. So, could we drop it?"  
  
"Oh my," Nodoka said, sounding a little alarmed, "you really  
sound upset."  
  
"I'm not!" Ukyo denied it.  
  
"Oh, but you are!" Nodoka insisted. "Clearly, this is  
something that's been bothering you since then."  
  
Ukyo grimaced again, trying not to sound upset and failing  
again. "But it really doesn't! I mean it doesn't. I'm not  
upset."  
  
Nodoka looked at Ukyo pleadingly, but Ukyo just turned away,  
and now Nodoka was the one who was upset. She turned to  
Ranma and asked, "What is it?"  
  
When Ranma looked casually undecided how to answer that,  
Nodoka asked him, "What's going on?"  
  
Ranma looked down, and he began to realize that no one was  
going to help him. Nevertheless, he continued in silence,  
until his mother said, "Ranma, tell me exactly how it  
happened."  
  
***  
  
Now, the story of how Genma had agreed to marry Ranma to  
Ukyo and then had stolen their family business--abandoning  
Ukyo in the process--was a very well-known story to all of  
them except Nodoka, and she grew more and more grim with  
every detail that Ranma casually related.  
  
Afterward, Nodoka merely said, "I see." Then she got up and  
dragged Genma outside, where they talked heatedly for a few  
minutes--or rather, Nodoka spoke heatedly and Genma mostly  
just listened.  
  
After listening for about minute or so, Ukyo wryly smiled  
and said, "Boy am I glad I'm in here."  
  
Akane glanced at Ukyo venomously and then turned away. At  
that moment, Ukyo realized that she now had the upper hand.  
Ukyo had not only won Nodoka's trust, but she had won  
Nodoka's sympathy. And Ranma might defy his father, but he  
would never defy his mother.  
  
They couldn't quite understand what was being said, and  
somehow having to imagine it was making them terrified of  
what Nodoka might be demanding.  
  
Ranma, in particular, was having several anxious moments--  
thinking about all the possible demands she might make of  
him to try to rectify the situation. Even ritual suicide  
was not entirely out of the question.  
  
A few moments later, Genma returned and said to Ukyo, "My  
wife gratefully appreciates the meal, and she said she  
enjoyed it very much. She also wishes to apologize for her  
rudeness, tonight."  
  
It seemed Nodoka wasn't returning, and she had left Genma to  
deliver to them all the news of how the situation was going  
to be settled.  
  
Genma seemed very reluctant to continue for a few moments,  
but then said, "I'm sorry, Soun."  
  
Soun Tendo, who was a little surprised that Genma had used  
his given name, could only stammer out, "What is it, Genma?"  
  
"I'm afraid..." Genma said, "I'm going to have to retract  
what we agreed before. It's only right that I..." Genma  
sighed deeply and said, "I'm giving my blessing to Ukyo."  
  
***  
  
After Ukyo had grudgingly accepted, it only remained for  
Ranma and Genma to pack up and leave the Tendo home.  
  
As they arrived, Nabiki and Kasumi were also just arriving.  
They were a little confused to see Ranma and his father  
leaving, but they had seen Ranma and Genma go off on  
training missions several times before, so they weren't too  
surprised.  
  
As he had packed, Ranma began to remember all the times that  
he had insulted Akane and had made her feel that he never  
really regretted any of it. Over and over he began to  
recall Akane's anger and sorrow, and he felt now more than  
he had ever that Akane had deserved so much better than the  
way he had treated her.  
  
He was disgusted with himself--and with all the changes his  
personality had shown him how much better he could be, he  
was all the more repulsed at his former behavior.  
  
Standing at the front walkway outside the entrance, he felt  
more regret than he could ever recall in his life, and he  
took a look back to see Kasumi waving her usual, cheerful  
goodbye.  
  
Genma only put a hand on Ranma's shoulder and said, "Son, be  
a man. Let's go, huh?"  
  
With that, they turned and left the Tendo home.  
  
Genma was half-expecting it--and hoping it wouldn't be true--  
but before long, he discovered that Ranma had changed back  
to a girl again.  



	4. The Dark Horse

  
  
Part 4: The Dark Horse  
  
  
Ranma knew better than anybody that although Ukyo was, for  
example, a somewhat more pleasant person to date than  
Shampoo, Ukyo was also far more annoying to have to live  
with than a hundred Shampoos.  
  
Ukyo was lively and entertaining, but her devotion to Ranma  
was disturbing.  
  
Ukyo had entertained suitors by the hundreds, to be sure.  
Many of them were like Tsubasa Kurenai--who was a very  
strange girly-boy. To her, those boys all seemed like  
dangerous and perverse idiots. Many of the others were  
extremely normal, and Ukyo's passion for martial arts  
okonomiyaki had been something to which they could never  
hope to relate.  
  
Then there were others who--like Konatsu Kunoichi--were  
somewhere in between these two extremes. Ukyo was  
thoroughly bored with people like them, however, and she  
dismissed them from her mind the quickest.  
  
Ranma, however, had seemed to take pity on her when they had  
first met--and Ukyo had been charmed by his abrupt manner in  
doing so.  
  
So, of course, there was no reasonable opportunity that Ukyo  
would pass up to make some impression on Ranma, and Ranma  
was beginning to realize it. He was also beginning to  
realize that Ukyo's idea of romance was more like Stockholm  
syndrome than like a Shakespearean sonnet.  
  
And though the prospect of having to live with Ukyo for the  
rest of his life was like plunging into the depths of hell,  
Ranma smiled and seemed eager to go. It was nothing  
compared to the thought of being truly cut off from the  
Tendo home.  
  
Something had gone out of him at the thought of never seeing  
Akane again, and Ranma began to realize that this had been  
in keeping with his two previous transformations. And just  
as he realized that, he also noticed that he had become a  
she again.  
  
"Ah, crap," Ranma said, looking at herself.  
  
"Finally noticed, huh?" Genma said.  
  
***  
  
Genma had never been a very ponderous man, but if he had, he  
might have noticed that he'd been very anxious for ten years  
over something that had turned out to be a matter of about  
five minutes of regret.  
  
In fact, he was a bit grateful to Ranma for being the one to  
explain it all, and to be there to help blunt some of the  
heat he might otherwise have to take himself. He didn't  
need to admit it, and Ranma was free to imagine it, if she  
so chose.  
  
Now, it was the future that was worrying him. Genma stopped  
at a crossroads between a major road and the road that led  
toward Ukyo's shop. For nearly five whole seconds, Genma  
stopped and found himself unequal to this task.  
  
"Hey, Pop," Ranma said. "Ain't we going to Ucchan's?"  
  
"Ranma, my boy," Genma answered, "I need you to listen very  
carefully. Which do you like better? Ukyo or okonomiyaki?"  
  
Ranma was stunned for a moment, then she laughed and said,  
"Pop, I think I already answered that, like ten years ago."  
  
"I need you to be serious, Ranma," Genma insisted, "and give  
me an answer. Or is that still your answer?"  
  
"I don't know," Ranma replied, not really thinking.  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"I don't know. Can I think about it?"  
  
"What's to think about?"  
  
"I don't know!" Ranma then scratched her head and sat on  
the fence, thinking.  
  
"So, you like Ukyo better?" Genma guessed.  
  
"Geez," Ranma said. "What's gotten into you, Pop? What's  
with this stupid question? How do you expect me to answer  
if you won't explain the reason why you're askin'?"  
  
"I want a straight, simple answer, Ranma," he explained.  
"Nothing more. If it's something you can't decide, then  
I'll have to assume what your answer is, and that'll be it."  
  
"Whoa," Ranma said softly. "Serious..."  
  
"This is serious, Ranma." Genma then sighed and added, "The  
next ten years is riding on your answer."  
  
With that little revelation, Ranma was stunned into a kind  
of unthinking silence. Looking at the expression on her  
father's face, however, she knew that she needed to give an  
honest answer, and soon.  
  
Genma and Ranma said, together, "Okonomiyaki--"  
  
"Yeah," Genma said. "That's what I thought. Okay, let's  
go."  
  
And, having said that, Genma started toward Ukyo's shop  
again. A few moments later, Ranma got up and strolled along  
the fence top after her father.  
  
"What was that about?" Ranma asked.  
  
"It's about friendship, Ranma," Genma answered. "I've come  
to value my friendship with Akane's father quite a lot,  
recently."  
  
"Uh huh," Ranma said. "Does this loop back around to that  
question at some point?"  
  
"I'm getting there," Genma muttered. "Now, where to begin?"  
Genma then stopped and pondered for a moment, then said,  
"Right. Let's go back a bit. Just a few weeks ago, I  
asked Soun about our friendship."  
  
***  
  
In fact, this event to which Genma was referring was between  
the time when they had received the invitation and the time  
of the wedding of Ryoga and Akari. One evening, over tea  
and a game of go, Genma happened to be casually musing.  
  
"Seeing how Ranma and Ryoga are still friends," Genma  
guessed (since he wasn't really sure that they were  
friends), "really makes me wonder."  
  
"It's inspiring, isn't it?" Soun said.  
  
"Yes," Genma said, after a moment of hesitation. "Anyway, I  
was thinking that Ranma and Ryoga wouldn't let a little  
thing like marriage stand between them."  
  
"Ah, yes," Soun agreed. "A true friendship. A thing to be  
admired, Saotome."  
  
"I envy them," Genma said.  
  
"So do I," Soun casually agreed.  
  
After a few more moments, Genma asked, "So, if Ranma and  
Akane don't really work out...?"  
  
Soun laughed for a few moments, then looked suddenly grim  
and stated, "Don't even think about it, Saotome."  
  
***  
  
"I knew right then," Genma said to Ranma, "that if Ukyo was  
standing in my way, I would have to choose the more  
difficult path, eventually. However, I needed to know  
whether that was true."  
  
"The more difficult path?" Ranma asked.  
  
"A return to training," Genma stated.  
  
Ranma wasn't sure what Genma meant by all this, but she knew  
in simple terms what Genma was implying. "Well, if you  
think I've decided to marry Akane, forget it! I'll make up  
my own mind when I'm good and ready."  
  
"Right," Genma said, a little humoringly. "Just keep in  
mind that I never said you couldn't."  
  
This had the subtle tone of hedging, and it made Ranma  
curious about what Nodoka had told Genma. Try as she might,  
though, there was just no getting from him what Nodoka had  
told him.  
  
All Genma would tell her was, "Your mother is a woman of  
high standards," which was nothing new to Ranma.  
  
In retrospect, Ranma realized that she should have been  
content with that, but something about it just seemed all  
wrong, at the time.  
  
***  
  
For her own part, Ukyo felt that this situation was too good  
to be true, but at the same time she didn't want to upset a  
good thing. So, when Genma and Ranma showed up at her shop  
door that night, she had some difficulty pretending to be  
surprised and acting like she was going out of her way to be  
helpful and obliging to them.  
  
She wanted to be annoyed--and she certainly had every right  
to expect annoyance in her mood--but her heart was soaring  
much too high for this to happen.  
  
And just when it seemed that one of Ranma's snide remarks  
would send her over the edge into being slightly miffed, she  
began to notice something that Nabiki had told her a few  
days ago. Ranma had really changed, and it showed.  
  
Ranma's face--usually a blend of puckish deviousness and  
childish innocence--was starting to turn statuesque in its  
distinctive features. For a moment, Ukyo merely felt as if  
Ranma had become taller and more impressive, then she  
realized that it was just the effect of Ranma's face. And  
though she understood that it was just the subtle change in  
proportions, she was nevertheless made speechless with awe  
at the change.  
  
When Ranma became casually curious about why Ukyo was  
staring, Ukyo started and promptly brought back a pot full  
of hot water.  
  
Genma amused himself with helping, as Ukyo dumped pot after  
pot of hot water on Ranma--wondering why Ranma suddenly  
wasn't changing back to male-type.  
  
***  
  
Over the next few days, Ukyo continued to be blissfully  
unaware of the events that were about to take place, and  
Akane was her usual angry self. There was little that could  
have occurred between the time when Ranma moved out of the  
Tendo home and into the new house.  
  
Nodoka, who had made extensive notes toward writing an  
autobiography, never bothered to publish such a document, so  
we can only speculate as to what had happened. In any case,  
it was probably in keeping with what had gone on before.  
  
Ranma surely continued to attend Furinkan high school--it  
was the same high school that Ukyo attended, after all--and  
he probably encountered Kuno and Kodachi several times. All  
this was simply part of a normal day for Ranma.  
  
The only thing that had changed, other than the fact that  
Shampoo had mysteriously returned to China, was that when  
Ranma left school, he now went to Ucchan's.  
  
What Ranma and Akane said or did while at school, however,  
was something they never discussed later. It seems unlikely  
that they said anything to one another, in spite of the many  
rumors to the contrary.  
  
In her diary, Ukyo was very detailed about the things she  
said and did over that time, but these were mostly just  
quaint reflections on things that had happened to them ten  
years ago.  
  
One interesting note that Ukyo made was that Genma never  
bothered to unpack. She overheard this in a conversation.  
  
Ranma asked him, "Aren't you going to unpack?"  
  
Genma replied, "No need. We're just going to have to pack  
it all up again, anyway."  
  
"You think so?" Ranma said.  
  
Genma then paused, (and Ukyo never bothered to record  
whether he was amused or irritated) and said, "Ranma,  
perhaps..."  
  
"What?" Ranma asked.  
  
A few moments later, Genma said, "Never mind."  
  
Perhaps he'd been about to suggest that Ranma start packing  
up Ukyo's stuff as well as his own, but even Ukyo didn't  
find out about this until a few days later.  
  
***  
  
"I knew it was too good to be true," Ukyo muttered to  
herself.  
  
On the way to the new house--to which Ukyo had been invited  
to come, of course--Ranma and Genma led the way, as Ukyo  
lugged most of the bags.  
  
It was mostly her own stuff, actually, but Ukyo had thought  
that maybe Ranma or Genma might be persuaded to help carry  
them. After all, they were pretty heavy.  
  
Ukyo was so busy straining and sweating that she became  
preoccupied with being miserable, and she was just starting  
to think that at least it wasn't raining when a sudden  
downpour began.  
  
Ranma and Genma, who considered rain to be a very light  
matter, merely shrugged it off and continued strolling down  
the street as if nothing in the world were wrong with  
walking in the rain.  
  
Ukyo, meanwhile, could count the raindrops striking her  
head--as if they were all sent to her personally to annoy  
her. She sighed and continued to follow Ranma and Genma.  
  
It was at this moment that she realized she had always been  
following those two as long as she could remember, and they  
had always been just ahead of her, always threatening to  
leave her behind.  
  
Thinking this way had always brought the memory of that  
terrible day when Ranma and Genma had abandoned her, leaving  
her choking on the dust of her father's own portable  
okonomiyaki shop. Even worse than the initial shock of  
being left behind was the lingering humiliation that awaited  
her, wherever she went, afterward.  
  
Ukyo could still feel the sting of that humiliation, but  
thought how appropriate it was that Genma had only been the  
author of his own humiliation at Ukyo's hands. Ukyo began  
to laugh, thinking grimly that you reap what you sow when  
she also noticed that she had been completely left behind,  
again.  
  
"Ack!" she exclaimed. "Wait! Come back! Don't forget me!"  
  
***  
  
Nodoka, aside from being a woman of high standards, was also  
a very considerate mother, and she had soon found a new  
house where Genma and Ranma would come to live with her.  
  
It was a little old, but it was affordable and cozy. Best  
of all, it was conveniently located--not too far from Ukyo's  
shop.  
  
Ranma and Genma immediately liked it, the moment they  
entered--thinking that its slightly rustic charm gave them a  
familiar and comfortable surrounding to live in. They  
scarcely had furniture, but there was already a table in the  
living room and the smell of food in the air--and that was  
really all Ranma and Genma needed to call a place home.  
  
Nodoka entered from the kitchen with some food already  
prepared, and was more than happy to finally have what she  
could call a real family event.  
  
Ranma and Genma had worked up a ferocious appetite, and they  
were soon finished eating. Afterward, they sat around for a  
few hours, merely chatting about this and that. None of  
them could remember having ever had such a pleasant meal,  
right about the time Ukyo appeared--looking a little haggard  
and extremely irritated.  
  
"Oh my!" Nodoka declared. "I just knew we forgot about  
something!"  
  
***  
  
Ukyo had spent most of the day searching for Ranma and Genma  
in vain, asking people who were rarely helpful, then finally  
giving up hope of ever finding the house--weeping in misery,  
as the rain continued pouring.  
  
Then she remembered that, sometime yesterday, she had  
overheard a bit of what Genma had told Ranma about how to  
get to their new house. She then spent another half an hour  
searching her soggy diary for that entry and used it to find  
the location where she did, in fact, find Ranma and Genma.  
  
"How dare you neglect your own fiancee!?" she cried, giving  
Ranma a nasty glare, then finally dropping her bags in  
disgust, exhausted with having carried them all day.  
  
"Oh," Ranma said. She then thought for a moment and said,  
"Oops?"  
  
Ukyo glowered at her with a furious look, then frowned--  
deeply disappointed. "Oops? That's all you have to say?"  
  
"Umm," Ranma said, thinking for a moment, "sorry?"  
  
"You're killin' me, Ranma," she said. "Please, just try for  
once to see things my way, okay?"  
  
Ranma seemed to be sizing up that request, then said, "Well,  
okay. Although, I don't really see what you're complaining  
about. It ain't my fault you can't keep up."  
  
Ukyo then rolled her eyes and passed out, unable to  
withstand the usual routine from Ranma.  
  
"Ranma, my boy--" Genma started.  
  
"Oh my," Nodoka said, catching Ukyo.  
  
"It pays to have a little tact," Genma said, "when dealing  
with normal people. Not everyone has an iron constitution."  
  
***  
  
When Ukyo awoke, she was momentarily terrified that she'd  
been abducted, then she remembered.  
  
Nodoka had found a new house for her and her family, to  
which Ukyo had been invited to stay, as a guest. After a  
miserable day spent finding this place, she was relieved  
to find herself still here.  
  
Ukyo briefly thought about all the troubles in her life and  
she began to count herself lucky that she had arrived at  
this place and time. All things considered, there were as  
many bad as good things to remember, but as long as the good  
things always happened last, that would be okay.  
  
For example, if she only needed to contend with a few  
harmless setbacks before getting married to Ranma, that  
would be good, too. She then sighed and lay back, imagining  
the kind of life she would like to have with Ranma and  
thinking that she was getting closer, if not actually right  
there, yet.  
  
Ukyo was just starting to think that the main problem right  
now was the mystery of why Ranma was still girl-type when  
she heard a knock at the door, and Ranma entered.  
  
"Is it okay if I come in?" Ranma said.  
  
"Fine, fine," Ukyo said, noticing that she'd been dressed in  
pajamas by some thoughtful person--she preferred to think  
that it wasn't Ranma or Genma who had done so.  
  
"I'm very sorry about yesterday," Ranma said in that casual  
way that never failed to anger Akane.  
  
Ukyo merely smiled and waved away his apology saying, "Hey!  
Hey! Forget about it! I'm here, and that's what counts,  
right?"  
  
Ranma, not completely adjusted to Ukyo's forthright  
attitude, was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said,  
"Ah, sure!"  
  
Ukyo got up from her bed and looked around at the unfamiliar  
room--bare floor aside from the soggy bags which she had  
carried with her from the shop. There was a nice, wide  
window, and Ukyo opened it, getting a nice deep breath of  
fresh morning air.  
  
"Good morning!" she exclaimed, thinking how miserable the  
sky had become, yesterday, and how clear it looked now.  
  
Ranma joined her next to the window, and Ukyo had a nervous  
moment to realize that the love of her life was standing  
right next to her, and--aside from being the wrong sex--  
there wasn't a thing in the world stopping them from being  
together as lovers. She had to stop thinking about it,  
though, and calm down for a moment, because she wasn't used  
to the idea.  
  
Ranma surprised her by folding her arms and snidely  
remarking, "Morning is overrated."  
  
Normally, Ukyo never tired of these obtuse discussions of  
life and its relationship with nature--these had, in fact,  
filled many hours of their time together as children. Now,  
all she could say was, "Ranma, you need your head examined."  
  
Ranma chuckled and said, "Not a bad idea, considering."  
  
Ukyo leaned on the window sill and said, "So, you agree."  
  
For a few long moments, Ranma kept her arms folded, then  
said, "Sorry. I'm just not myself."  
  
Ukyo took a moment to ponder that and then asked, "Ranma,  
how is it that you've become like this? Do you know?"  
  
"You mean," Ranma said, "about not changing back?"  
  
"No," Ukyo replied. "I mean, what is it that made you  
change your attitude? You never changed in all the years I  
knew you, but now..."  
  
As hard as it was for Ranma to take anything seriously, she  
knew there was no escaping this, and she said, "It's in  
keeping with something that happened to me, not too long  
ago. I'm not exactly sure how, but every time I feel like  
someone has really left me, I become more of what I am,  
now."  
  
"So," Ukyo surmised, "if I were to go away..."  
  
"Oh," Ranma answered, "you don't need to worry. Only people  
who have been affected by magic seem to do it."  
  
"So," Ukyo said, "this is it."  
  
"No," Ranma said. "There's one more."  
  
Ukyo was about to ask Ranma who it was, but then she heard  
an awful commotion from below her window--and she just  
happened to notice Genma running toward the house in panda-  
form. Ukyo then looked away from the window in irritation  
and asked Ranma, "Ranma, are we really living next door to  
the Tendos?"  
  
Ranma smiled and took a quick look out the window, then  
said, "Ah, it seems that way..."  
  
***  
  
Without anyone having realized it--including Nodoka,  
strangely enough--they had, indeed, moved in next door to  
the Tendos. There were perhaps never two families in Japan  
who were more appropriately located, though there were  
plenty of reasons to make them want to live on different  
continents.  
  
The first person to have discovered this was Genma, who  
immediately saw the convenience in having a familiar bath,  
koi pond and refrigerator he could raid.  
  
The second person to discover their proximity was Akane, who  
(coincidentally enough) also discovered Genma in the process  
of raiding their refrigerator.  
  
Akane had nothing personal against Mr. Saotome, but seeing a  
giant panda in her family's kitchen that early in the  
morning was a tremendous shock to her, and she wasn't  
completely sure at first that it was Genma.  
  
Almost immediately, Soun and Akane were in pursuit of Genma  
(who still had a big slice of watermelon), and Kasumi  
watched as Genma leaped the barrier and Soun followed.  
  
Soun and Akane did not have far to travel. Once across the  
street and over another barrier, they found Genma entering  
another two-story building, and they just assumed he was  
invading someone else's residence.  
  
They were completely surprised to discover that Nodoka had  
evidently joined him in committing trespass. Unable to  
fully picture Nodoka this way, they soon realized the  
inevitable--that Ranma and his parents were living there.  
  
Once Soun realized this, he merely laughed and joked about  
how warm the weather was. He then grimly informed Genma  
that he now owed Soun a watermelon.  
  
Nodoka was eager to invite them in, but Soun politely  
excused himself. Akane was reluctant, but her curiosity  
took over, and she took the tour.  
  
Their house was very similar to the one Akane knew well--the  
entrance-area stairway leading up to bedrooms on the second  
floor and the well-worn area of the hallway between the  
living room and the kitchen were enough to make Akane wonder  
how many of these types of houses there were in the  
neighborhood.  
  
The only real difference, besides the fact that the end of  
the house stopped at a fenced tree-line between them and the  
other neighbor's house instead of a dojo, was that the  
Saotome's had a modest wooden bridge that crossed over a  
faux stream. The sense of Zen at this image was completed  
when Ranma appeared next to her and said, "I'll bet you're  
jealous."  
  
Ranma chuckled as Akane turned and immediately said, "I am  
not!"  
  
Seeing Ranma holding a bowl of food in her usual nimble way  
made Akane sentimental for a moment, and she was anxious to  
finish touring the house with Nodoka.  
  
Akane had a hunch what she would find in the guest room, and  
so she was not too surprised to find Ukyo unpacking there.  
  
What Ukyo wrote in her diary about that moment is frankly a  
little hard to believe, but her diary is the only one that  
goes into detail about this encounter:  
  
Ukyo said, "Well, if it isn't the ex-fiancee!"  
  
Akane frowned and said, "Ukyo? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh, I live here," Ukyo replied, she then cleared her throat  
and added, "As a guest, of course."  
  
"Just a guest?" Akane said. "I'd have thought you two would  
have been married by now."  
  
"Well, I am the 'cute' one," Ukyo agreed.  
  
Akane then laughed and glanced at Nodoka--who was fretting  
at the state of Ranma's room (just next door to Ukyo's), and  
she said, viciously, "If you lay a finger on Ranma, I'll  
kill you."  
  
"Oh my," Ukyo said, feigning shock. "How scary! I'm  
shaking already." Ukyo then laughed and went back to her  
unpacking.  
  
In her own diary, Kasumi only mentions that Akane took one  
look at the smug expression on Ukyo's face and immediately  
continued on her tour. While a bit more plausible, it seems  
equally unlikely.  
  
Both accounts, however, do agree that this was the one time  
that Akane visited Ukyo at the new place, so it's just a  
pity we can't get a more accurate picture of what happened.  
  
Nevertheless, Ukyo did get her share of visitors over the  
next few days, and though they failed to give her any death  
threats, they certainly did amuse Ukyo. Nabiki, for  
example, had plenty to say about the new pictures of Ranma  
she was selling, and how Ranma was more than happy to be  
busy posing (tastefully, for once).  
  
Kasumi found time to visit, as well, and found that Ukyo's  
skill at cooking--while unpleasantly aggressive and  
barbaric--was far above her own. Ukyo's talents, her  
creative flair and her adaptiveness with cooking implements  
were beyond what Kasumi had dreamed possible. Best of all,  
Ukyo was unaware of her talent--and therefore (unlike most  
other talented cooks) she was not an effete snob. To the  
contrary, she enjoyed showing off her talents to an  
appreciative audience.  
  
Kasumi made a point of visiting frequently, mostly because  
of her intense disappointment with Akane, and because she  
preferred to be the one who was learning rather than trying  
to teach.  
  
Genma returned to the dojo with Ranma, although they had to  
go through the routine of having Happosai give his word that  
Ranma would not fail the honor of the Tendo dojo. Soun made  
it clear to them that, while he would still welcome them in,  
they were outsiders. It was odd that Happosai was  
conveniently still Soun's master, although it seemed that  
they would only regret that fact all the more in the near  
future.  
  
Meanwhile, Nodoka found herself more busy with making notes  
toward books she would never publish than with making meals.  
Nodoka was said to take extremely detailed notes of many of  
the casual discussions between Ukyo and Kasumi, and Akane  
later swore that Nodoka kept a detailed account somewhere of  
all the training sessions that Genma and Ranma held.  
  
One thing was fairly certain. Very little had actually  
changed between when Ranma had been living at the Tendo's  
and now that Ranma had moved next door. Ukyo still spent  
the evenings working at her shop, and Nodoka was often  
invited along with Ranma and Genma to eat at the Tendo's.  
  
Akane and Ranma often sat right next to each other nearest  
the windows, as they always had, just as if they were still  
intended, and if Ranma was more casual than ever, Akane was  
more tense than ever about this situation.  
  
The major difference between then and now was that Akane was  
nearly always angry with Ranma and now Akane had simply  
become nervous.  
  
***  
  
One evening over a game of shogi, Soun and Genma took the  
opportunity of the relatively mild weather to catch up on  
the events of the past week and to mull over (as Nabiki put  
it) their new strategy regarding what to do about Ranma and  
Akane.  
  
Genma stated and they both agreed that things were  
progressing nicely in spite of having been forced to do away  
with the arrangement. Genma further stated that having  
removed the arrangement was even more convenient in that it  
provided Ranma with no excuse to think of a relationship  
with Akane as a burden.  
  
Soun mused over this, perhaps thinking that Ukyo was even  
less of a burden to Ranma or just wondering what Genma meant  
by referring to Akane as a burden in the first place.  
  
In any case, Soun still wanted to renew their arrangement,  
and although Genma now said that it was quite impossible, he  
assured Soun that it would change nothing.  
  
"Soun, my friend," Genma said. "You don't seem to  
understand. Ranma always hated that arrangement, and I'm  
pretty sure Akane did, too. Ranma hates being told to do  
anything. Now that it's all on his own shoulders, I'm sure  
he'll do the right thing."  
  
Soun then frowned and said, "I just hope you're right,  
Genma."  
  
The wind chimes played right on cue for them and the scene  
would have been perfect had Happosai--sitting next to them--  
not been making an inventory of the stolen bras and panties  
in his sack.  
  
***  
  
As the days went by, Ranma found that making conversation at  
supper was becoming easier, and despite being stuck in girl-  
form and technically an outsider, the others still seemed to  
think of her as family. In fact, Nabiki and Kasumi never  
enjoyed a conversation more with Ranma than they did now.  
  
Ranma seemed more easy-going than ever, and there was never  
an issue to which she lacked some delightful opinions.  
Sometimes Nabiki would say something overly capricious, and  
Ranma would become irritated at it--but never more than long  
enough to let them know she was irritated. Kasumi was  
sometimes too judgmental, and Ranma would ignore those  
remarks.  
  
Gone were the rude and cynical Ranma, the grumpy Ranma, the  
insulting and defensive Ranma, and even the tacky  
simpleminded Ranma. If they appeared, they only made the  
occasional cameo appearances.  
  
What was very strange was that, although Akane surely had  
much to say and would have gladly spent many hours  
discussing things before, Akane had gone strangely quiet.  
  
Akane had become so quiet, in fact, that it came as a  
complete surprise when she told Ranma one evening after  
supper that she wanted to speak with her.  
  
To the disappointment of the others, they spoke in Chinese,  
but Akane later shared every word of it.  
  
Akane wasted no time, but asked Ranma right out, "Ranma, do  
you like me?"  
  
Anyone would be stunned at this question, and Ranma was no  
exception. Akane cleared her throat and tried again.  
  
"What I mean is," Akane said, "I... I think we got off to a  
bad start."  
  
Ranma chuckled and said, "No kidding."  
  
"I mean," Akane floundered (and Kasumi noted here that she  
witnessed Akane for the first time poking her own fingers  
with embarrassment), "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel  
about all this. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be sorry," Ranma said.  
  
"No," Akane objected. "I am sorry. It's all my fault for  
getting jealous."  
  
When Akane later said this to Kasumi, Kasumi was very  
surprised and Kasumi wrote, "Had Ranma been more perceptive,  
he might have become very upset when Akane told him that."  
  
Instead, Ranma merely smiled wistfully at everything Akane  
said, even as Akane continued, "I'm just a complete idiot,  
and I've never treated you fairly. I'm very very sorry."  
  
And then, to everyone's complete surprise, Ranma gently  
reached out and hugged Akane, and Akane softly cried. Ranma  
then softly said, "It's okay, Akane. I'm more sorry than  
you."  
  
***  
  
So, now there was no longer any mystery at all about how  
Akane and Ranma felt, and although Ranma was clearly not  
going to return to male-type any time soon, they felt no  
qualms about expressing these feelings any old time of the  
day they chose.  
  
At school, for example, they were often seen making eye-  
contact or sometimes holding hands or even just sharing some  
wordless smiles.  
  
Some of their fellow students said it was just like Ranma to  
fall in love with Akane in girl-form, and others sometimes  
remarked that it was appropriate--seeing how Akane never  
really liked guys, anyway.  
  
Kuno, naturally, was distraught that his ineptness as a man  
had driven the two girls he was in love with to "turn into  
lesbians."  
  
A few of the more insightful students remarked that becoming  
Ranma's fiancee was surely a horrible curse, and they made  
sure they did so outside of Ukyo's hearing.  
  
Whether Ukyo heard it or not, she surely felt it. Ranma and  
Akane didn't hide their feelings from Ukyo, and Ukyo soon  
became upset with the situation--though she did manage to  
hide how she felt for a little while.  
  
Ukyo was still a guest at Ranma's house, but it seemed to  
her that she was a stranger there. Ranma never spent any  
time with her--and the one time she did, she complained  
casually to Ukyo that Akane was still far too shy.  
  
This remark in particular had made Ukyo extremely upset.  
She was briefly tempted to destroy her own shop with her  
bare hands when she realized that there was still one last  
chance for the situation to change.  
  
Ukyo recalled Ranma telling her that there was "one more,"  
to go. She had surely meant her own father--Genma. With  
Genma out of the way, there would no longer be a reason for  
Ranma to feel any pressure to make up with Akane, and Ranma  
would experience the final transformation--which could  
revert her back to her usual Akane-hating, obnoxious self.  
  
But no matter how Ukyo tortured herself with thoughts of how  
Genma had ruined her life in the first place, she just  
couldn't bring herself to murder the old guy. Ukyo knew in  
her guts that nothing less than murder would do, but at the  
same time, she felt that she just didn't have quite enough  
hatred to be able to do it.  
  
On top of that, if Ukyo did kill the old man, how would  
Ranma react to her except in stunned horror? It was a  
terrible dilemma, no matter how she turned it around in her  
mind.  
  
***  
  
That night, Ukyo had nightmare after nightmare, and in every  
one of them, Genma was the villain--taking away her father's  
livelihood and leaving her behind in misery and humiliation.  
  
As the nightmares repeated, the vision of her father's shop  
slowly transformed into Genma carrying Ranma away from her  
until Ranma at last abandoned her in her disgrace.  
  
In the very last dream just before dawn, Ukyo was lying on  
the ground, unable to move or even turn away as the others  
laughed at her and ridiculed her--even Genma and Ranma, who  
were now calling her a pitiful and gullible fool.  
  
Ukyo had been denied sleep because of these dreams, and the  
visions of her dream had become so intense that it denied  
her of sanity.  
  
Shortly afterward, Ukyo found herself still in a dreamlike  
state, but now carrying a very real knife and intending to  
use it. She found Genma soon enough, sitting at the doorway  
to their new backyard, watching as Ranma went through her  
usual morning workout. The scene was perfect.  
  
The only thing that it lacked was a dead body, stabbed many  
times in the back--lying in a pool of its own blood.  
  
Ukyo brought up the knife to strike, but she hesitated, and  
the knife quickly fell from her limp fingers. No matter how  
angry or driven to insanity, there was just no way she was  
capable of outright murder. She knew it for a fact, deep  
down inside.  
  
Her whole life, she had been living for revenge, but she had  
also been living with purpose. That purpose had forced her  
to pretend to be a guy and to cook at a level far beyond  
what others could achieve. It had taken so much pain and  
sacrifice, and she couldn't just throw all that away.  
  
The knife had scarcely hit the floor when Ukyo realized that  
she was completely drained. Nothing mattered anymore. She  
only had time to think that at least she had the grim  
satisfaction that Ranma would never become a guy, when Ranma  
suddenly attacked Genma--kicking him in the head in a way  
that would paralyze or kill an ordinary man.  
  
Ranma smiled and said, "Yo, Pop! Get up! Don't tell me  
that love-tap actually hurt you?"  
  
Ukyo looked down at Genma's unmoving body and her mind  
totally failed to register that this had any significance.  
  
Ranma, however, was quickly at Genma's side, slapping him in  
the face, and begging him to get up. It didn't matter,  
though. His body would never move again. Ranma called for  
his mother and screamed something about calling for a  
doctor, as Ukyo realized with some amusement that Ranma had  
transformed to a guy again.  
  
Ranma didn't realize this until much later, and when Nodoka  
appeared, she seemed shocked at first, but then she frowned  
and said, pointing, "Ranma, don't scare me like that! Put  
that doll away, would you?"  
  
"Doll?" Ranma said, a little outraged. "I'm not holding a  
doll!"  
  
Ranma then looked down at what he was holding, and it was,  
indeed, a doll.  
  
"Whoa!" Ranma exclaimed. "Pop!?"  
  
Ukyo blinked in astonishment, suddenly realizing that the  
dead body of Genma had actually been a cleverly constructed  
doll, and her head swam.  
  
A moment later, Ukyo passed out.  
  
  
Epilogue: Hold Your Horses  
  
  
About a week later, Ranma and Akane had a wedding  
celebration, and everyone said it was a huge success in  
spite of not have the father of the groom on hand. Genma  
wasn't dead--although he might have prayed for death when  
Nodoka got a hold of him, later on--Genma was just romping  
around in his usual panda-form, getting into trouble, as  
usual.  
  
Genma showed up for the reception--held at the Cat Cafe, of  
course. He showed up, looking a little somber, and when  
Ranma asked him what that was about, Genma shoved a letter  
in his face and said, "Here's the proof. Read it yourself."  
  
Ranma read the letter. "Sorry for the confusion. Hope you  
enjoyed your abduction." At the bottom of the letter it was  
signed, "chi."  
  
"Who da heck is 'Chi?'" Ranma asked him, and Genma snatched  
the letter back.  
  
"I don't know," Genma replied. "I wish I did, though."  
  
Genma secretly wanted to thank whoever it was that had  
abducted him the morning of his "murder." Genma had awoke  
to find himself in a pastry kitchen, and he promptly ate as  
many of them as he could. His story had been--like many of  
his stories--extremely hard to believe, so Genma now made a  
point of proving to Ranma that it was the truth.  
  
Ranma, however, was not in the frame of mind to believe it,  
and he said, "Bah! I still say you made it up!"  
  
Shampoo appeared at that point, and said, "Shampoo believe.  
Shampoo got letter just like what panda man get."  
  
"So, where is it?" Ranma asked.  
  
"Me throw away," Shampoo said.  
  
Ranma laughed and said, "Ah, you see? I don't believe it!  
It's just another one of Pop's stories."  
  
Shampoo then frowned and left the room, saying, "I go find  
letter and show you."  
  
Akane, still somewhat radiant in her outfit, cleared her  
throat and said to Ranma, "Actually, Ranma, I got one of  
those, myself."  
  
"Really?" Ranma said. "How come you didn't tell me?"  
  
"Well," Akane replied, "I thought it was just weird, at the  
time."  
  
Akane promptly produced her letter, and Ranma read it.  
"Congratulations and best wishes for the future. Please  
forgive me for ruining a good dinner." At the bottom of the  
letter was just the symbol "i."  
  
"Whoa," Ranma said, "now that's creepy."  
  
Just about then, Ryoga finally showed up, having intended to  
go to the wedding, but getting mixed up and naturally  
ending up at the reception by mistake. After a few  
obligatory words of congratulations to Ranma and Akane,  
Akari--who had already been to the wedding and the  
reception--began pestering Ryoga.  
  
Meanwhile, Shampoo appeared and produced the letter she had  
alluded to. "Here," she said, holding it out to him.  
  
Ranma immediately read it, "Sorry I mixed up the glasses. I  
know the old saying, but I couldn't help myself. Is that  
wrong?" This one was signed "no."  
  
Akane trembled and said, "I just got a shiver up my spine,  
but I'm not sure why."  
  
"That was weird," Ranma remarked, giving the letter back.  
"I wonder what glasses it's referring to."  
  
"Shampoo not know," Shampoo said, and promptly left the room  
again.  
  
Just then, Ryoga appeared, and Ranma said, "Don't tell me  
you got one of those weird letters, too."  
  
Ryoga said, "Now that you mention it, I was going to ask you  
about this..." Sure enough, Ryoga produced a letter.  
  
All it said was, "I'm sorry." At the bottom, it was signed  
"ku."  
  
Ranma thought about it for a moment, and then hit his hand  
in realization. "Of course! It's so obvious!"  
  
"What?" Ryoga asked.  
  
"The same person wrote all four of those letters!" Ranma  
declared, causing everyone to face-fault except Nabiki--who  
merely said:  
  
"Well, duh."  
  
  
THE END  



End file.
